Impotent ex-husband ordered to pay damages: "An impotent Italian man who kept his problem a secret from his wife until after their wedding must pay her damages for 'eroding' her right to have a family, Italy's Supreme Court has ruled."

This is the lawsuit. The marriage was annulled in the 90's. I can see where this would be a justification for divorce or annullment, but once that happens, I'm not sure I understand why he's liable. Limp and liable.

Man injured in domestic fight with wife: He rejected her advances before going fishing: "Richard Brown reported his wife told him that she did not want to go fishing. She allegedly proceeded to pick up a large wine glass and throw it at her husband. The glass broke and cut him behind the left leg, stated Officer Kevin Dunn in the report.

"Misty Brown allegedly picked up a broken piece of glass and threw it at her husband, according to the report. The glass cut her husband's arm. He told officers he fell to the floor bleeding and in pain and begging for his wife to help him."

So, your wife throws a wine glass at you and misses, then throws one of the pieces at you and hits you in the arm. Somehow, he ends up on the floor begging for help. Bullshit. I'm not saying those things didn't happen, but it is wildly improbable that those actions resulted in injuries requiring police, hospitals, and arrest warrants. What really happened?

Army pair's tactics eyed: Student-led sting ensnarls recruiters: "The report featured David McSwane, an Arvada West High School honors student and editor of his school newspaper, who was 'curious' to see what recruiters at a Golden recruitment facility would do if he told them he wanted to join the Army as a high school dropout with a serious marijuana problem.
...
"Starting in January, McSwane met with two recruiters in Golden several times and secretly taped a series of phone calls with them. On the tapes, one recruiter is apparently heard encouraging McSwane to create a fake high school diploma to cover for the fact that he had dropped out.

"'It can be like Faith Hill Baptist School or something - whatever you choose,' the recruiter said.

"McSwane said he bought a phony diploma, complete with a transcript, from a Web site for $200. He was told that it passed the Army's academic evaluation.
...
"McSwane got a friend to film another recruiter driving him to a store to purchase a detoxification kit to rid his system of supposed marijuana traces."

To be fair, I worked as a recruiter briefly. "Answering the phone, putting people on hold, and putting people in the Navy." Drug waivers were all but rubber-stamp as long as the applicant didn't test positive. I saw some questionable things done by people who would have to pack up their family and move if they didn't make their quota, but never anything that rose to this level.

2 Winona High students put free speech to the test: "Two Winona High School students have found themselves in hot water with school officials.

"Why? Because after Carrie Rethlefsen attended a performance of the play 'The Vagina Monologues' last month, she and Emily Nixon wore buttons to school that read: 'I [heart] My Vagina.'

"School leaders said that the pin is inappropriate and that the discomfort it causes trumps the girls' right to free speech. The girls disagree. And despite repeated threats of suspension and expulsion, Rethlefsen has continued to wear her button."

Whenever the principal's quote begins "We support free speech, but..." you have to call them on it. Either they do, or they don't. In this case, unless they want to take the stand that the word "vagina" is inherently offensive, they're fucked. Once you start taking issue with political statements, like wearing black armbands in protest, you lose.

Wild, wild world of island golfing: "There were two alligators near the green on Robber's Row golf course when Parris, who happened to be golfing without his glasses that day, teed off. The ball bounced once about 2 feet before landing directly on one of the reptiles' tails, Lindon said.

"'Unbelievable,' Lindon said with a laugh. 'It was one of the funniest things I had ever seen. The alligator didn't move an inch.'

"When Parris saw where the ball landed, he wasn't tempted to remove it from the gator's tail. He put down a new ball and, in compliance with course rules, wasn't penalized a stroke for the drop."

Two things stand out. First, (there's a pic) the ball looks eminently playable. Dangerous, yes, but how often do you get to use an aligator as a tee? Second, the course has rules that govern this. I wonder how far from the aligator you're allowed to drop your ball?

Disputed Afghan pipeline reviewed: "Afghanistan has said it is capable of protecting a long-delayed multi-billion dollar pipeline that will bring natural gas from Turkmenistan to Pakistan, and possibly to neighbouring India."

What they don't mention is the backstory. This was a Unocal project. The chief lobbyist for the project was Hamid Karzai. It has been suggested that promoting the pipeline project had as much to do with our invasion of Afghanistan as did the Taliban's harboring of bin Laden. It almost entirely explains Karzai's appointment as president.

Marijuana as medicine: The active ingredient of cannabis may protect against heart disease and strokes: "... a paper in this week's Nature, by Sabine Steffens of Geneva University Hospital and her colleagues, suggests the drug (or, at least, its active ingredient) may also have a role in combating heart disease and strokes."

Obviously, Dr. Stephens is a terrorist. Everyone knows marijuana is a tool of the devil, and illegal drugs only fund terror. Or, as The Buggles put it, "they'll send the heart police to put you under cardiac arrest."

A tale of customer service, justice and currency as funny as a $2 bill: "PUT YOURSELF in Mike Bolesta's place. On the morning of Feb. 20, he buys a new radio-CD player for his 17-year-old son Christopher's car. He pays the $114 installation charge with 57 crisp new $2 bills, which, when last observed, were still considered legitimate currency in the United States proper. The $2 bills are Bolesta's idea of payment, and his little comic protest, too.

"For this, Bolesta, Baltimore County resident, innocent citizen, owner of Capital City Student Tours, finds himself under arrest."

I like $2 bills. I have a whole sheet of them at home. I'm amazed that anyone who is assigned as a cashier or store manager doesn't know what denominations are legal tender. Not only should Best Buy give him a refund, they should give him anything in the store. The manager and cashier should be fired, and the cop should be reprimanded.

Better yet, give him 57 Best Buy gift cards for his students, too.

When nature calls, cell phone owners should answer carefully: "Vince Ingrilli Jr. of Vince Ingrilli & Sons Plumbing Co. in Wauwatosa, said that his shop has pulled mobile phones out of toilets over the years, mostly in local restaurants and bars.

'It happens late at night,' Ingrilli said. 'We get the call in the morning. They don't always tell you what is down there.

'You might be in and out of there in a half-hour if you can pop it out from the top,' said Ingrilli, whose family has been in business for about 50 years. 'If you can't see it or it lodges in the throat of the bowl, you're going to need to replace the whole thing.'

Ingrilli said that sometimes a stuck phone can be melted out by heating up a probe that plumbers use and snaking it down the drain.

'It's good for getting other things out, too,' he said."

Just one more thing for the Tidy Bowl Man to worry about...

City toilets rise to the occasion: "Futuristic toilets which rise out of the ground could be used to tackle the problem of men urinating in the street."

Leave it to the BBC to make this story boring. Thankfully, when that happens, there's always The Register to turn to. According to El Reg: "Unless you live in Aberdeen, in which case we advise you to take your chances indoors. The reason? Battalions of remote-controlled stealth cyberloos disguised as manhole covers but capable of rising from the pavement in seconds and devouring up to three urinating Scotsmen in one vicious attack.

"We kid you not. Aberdeen City Council is considering installing two 6ft "Urilift" retractable cubicles in response to a reported lack of late-night toilet facilities. Naturally, it's not enough to knock up a traditional, brick-built Caledonian crapper. Nope, what Aberdeen needs a is hydraulically-powered cyberbog operated by "council employees" from a remote command centre."

U.S. Probes Sale of GM Corn: "The experimental seed, called Bt 10, distributed primarily in the United States by Swiss firm Syngenta, is not believed to pose a safety risk to humans or the environment, according to the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency. However, critics of genetically modified foods say the incident is a wake-up call to regulators who have not done enough to monitor the industry."

There are those who suggest that the GM seed companies want their seeds to get into the wild. In Canada, Monsanto has successfully sued farmers who never purchased their seeds, and who deny planting modified crops, when modified (and patented) stock was found in their fields. If enough wind-borne infiltration occurs, Monsanto would (legally) be able to compell all farmers to buy their seed.

There is nothing in this article to suggest that Syngenta did this intentionally, but the effects may be significant as some of the crop was exported to the EU, where political resistance to GM crops is rampant and at times extreme. That Syngenta is a Swiss firm (an EU member state) will probably not matter...

Teen wins lawsuit about dress code: "Fort Wayne Community Schools officials violated an Elmhurst High School student’s free-speech rights when they suspended him for wearing a T-shirt bearing the likeness of an M-16 rifle and the text of the Marine Corps creed, a federal court ruled Friday.

"The district suspended Nelson Griggs in March 2003 for violating a provision of the school dress code that prohibits students from wearing clothing depicting “symbols of violence.”"

Hmmm... Aparently a gun is not a symbol of violence. We should reconsider what constitutes a symbol of violence. If students are prohibited from wearing clothing depicting symbols of violence, they should also be prohibited from wearing American flags or peace signs (inverted broken cross).

Czech outfit punts big mobe for old people: "Etc, etc. Truth be told, we at El Reg can see no difference between this and cheap, readily-available big-key conventional phones, except that the GDP-02 has no wires so it's much easier to drag down the Post Office on pension day. It must be this which has reportedly contributed to 100,000 advance orders for the GrannyMobe, 7,000 of which have been delivered to an unnamed mobe operator."

The picture makes you wonder. I'm not sure this is progress, but it does fill a necessary niche. If POTS is ever to die, we need big bulky mobile phones with huge buttons. You can call it wireless, but don't call it cordless...

Customer banished after hurling Egg McMuffin: "Ottawa County sheriff's Deputy Brent Converse, who handled the call, said the man let frustration get the better of him. 'He returned the sandwich, but not the way he should have,' he said."

The agreed-upon facts are that he was not happy with his order, and returned it in an inappropriate manner.

I have questions. If you can be charged with assault for throwing your sandwich at its maker, doesn't that say as much about the sandwich and its maker as about the thrower? What some used to consider a proper motivation for service excellence, others now consider a matter for law enforcement. Isn't any damage done by (alledgedly cold) egg in your hair far smaller than the damage of publicizing that your restaurant's service drives people to such acts?

My advice? Eat the sandwich, puke on their counter. I have yet to see a successful prosecution of a food-rage incident involving the regurgitation of the food item in question.

Budding cyber love ends in divorce: "A budding romance between a Jordanian man and woman turned into an ugly public divorce when the couple found out that they were in fact man and wife, state media reported on Sunday.

"Separated for several months, boredom and chance briefly re-united Bakr Melhem and his wife Sanaa in an internet chat room, the official Petra news agency said."

We're perfect for each other -- we're both liars and we're both already married.

What the Super Bowl can teach us about men touching men: "The rules are long and often make no sense, but they can be simplified into a male touching playbook.

1. It's less awkward to embrace when lots of men are around: Two uncivilized heterosexual guys alone in a room never know what to say to each other, and will almost never hug lest someone walk in and assume they're lovers. But as more people are watching, they're willing to experiment with arms around the shoulders, playful ruffling of hair and other friendly physical contact.

2. The manlier the activity, the more spontaneous touching is acceptable: This is something men experience when playing sports, drinking low-quality beer and engaging in other bonding rituals. I recall a recent Las Vegas bachelor party where no one got a lap dance, but a hotel-streaking incident turned into a weekend-long all-male group discussion on the tightness of each other's posteriors.

3. In moments of extreme happiness, stress and imminent peril, embracing another man is OK: In other words, while it may create an awkward situation to give another man a little sugar when he's departing for the supermarket, a hug is a wonderful thing if someone is leaving for an independent contracting job in Fallujah."

Football has to be a close second to professional wrestling when it comes to homoerotic overtones. Anyone want to turn this into a drinking game?

FBI chides Hotmail and Yahoo! for sidestepping UK laws: "Ed Gibson, FBI special agent and assistant legal attache of the US Embassy in London, said international ISPs operating in the UK used their international presence as an excuse for not complying with British laws.

'With Hotmail and Yahoo! you can't get data using RIPA [the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act] because information is stored in the US,' Gibson said. 'Why aren't ISPs required to comply with the laws of this country?'"

Two US companies with services available in the UK. The FBI in the UK is complaining that the US companies don't fall completely under the UK RIPA Act because (surprise) the data is stored in the US.

Why is a US law enforcement agency pursuing US companies in the UK? Why not pursue them in the US directly? The inference is that there's some reason why they can't, and that they're going after them in the UK to circumvent US laws.

Tests indicate Viagra may aid enlarged hearts: "Viagra may aid in the treatment of enlarged hearts that can result from high blood pressure, tests on animals indicate.

"Plans are under way for a trial to determine if similar results occur in humans given the drug widely used to treat erectile dysfunction."

Hmmm... Let's review the history of Viagra, shall we? What later became Viagra started life as an experimental heart medication. It was not very effective at its intended purpose, but during animal testing, technicians noticed a common side effect among the male monkeys. It wasn't too long before they stopped testing it as a heart medication and started testing it as a "boner pill."

So it is not surprising that years later, they find it works in narrow circumstances as a marginally-effective, short-term heart medication. It ought to. The only allusion to this in the article is: "White, who was not part of Kass’ research team, noted that sildenafil originally was discovered by researchers studying blood pressure and heart disease."

Talk about missing the story.

Lawmaker wants theaters honest about movie start times: "Frustrated with lengthy advertisements and previews that delay movies and chew up viewing time, a state lawmaker wants theaters to be honest about when a movie actually starts."

It's called SHOWTIME folks -- it's when the show starts, of which the feature is the main attraction. I'd like to send a big shout out to Texas State Rep. Andrew Fleischmann -- you, sir, are an idiot. Of all the petty, insignificant things to complain about.

Now, think about it. If Rep. Idiot gets his way, those of us who arrive on time will be bothered and disturbed by all the other idiots who arrive in a dark theatre and try to find seats. That makes me send another big shout out to Landmark Theatres (owners of the River Oaks Theatres in Houston), who will not seat you after the show has started. Anyone who wants to contribute to a gift of Landmark passes for Rep. Fleischmann, let me know.

Good eye for the gay guy?: "Sebastian White, 22, says he knows many people whose gaydar goes off a little too often. Why?

'Because,' he says, 'the city has such a significant population of Europeans and metrosexuals, two groups notorious for causing gaydar to be wrong.'"

I think the unspoken undertheme is that the only reason gaydar worked in the first place is that (on average) Americans are so righteously homophobic that the exceptions make themselves obvious.

My gaydar works better in San Francisco than Oklahoma, but was pretty much useless in Amsterdam. Does that mean Oklahoma is full of metrosexuals?