To restate the obvious, I've been away for a while. I think I'm getting ready to be back now, but maybe not quite yet.

I had a heart attack. Out of the blue. So I took a year off. I'm better now -- smaller, weaker, and far less likely to fall over and die.

Last year's garden was abandoned when I fell over the day before planting and required opening for repair. This year's garden was planted and failed. Spring never warmed, it stayed hopelessly wet into mid-summer, and everything that wasn't eaten by rabbits and deer rotted and died before the three weeks of warm dry weather that preceded the arrival of fall.

Bees made honey, though one hive did all the work. It looks good for a full catalog of hot sauce by Thanksgiving, though likely no Habanero this year. I'm set to expand the apiary next year, and I'm hoping for at least triple the honey and wax I harvested this year. If I can get an electric fence around the garden for next year, I should have peppers in quantity. I want IR-targeted auto-ranging laser canons, but an electric fence (with solar power) is the closest option at Tractor Supply.

Anyway, enough with the update. I fell down. I got up. I'm (almost) going again.

Soon.

will the bees get a yurt?

so, I need a place to keep bee stuff, and to work on hives, and extract honey, maybe more. I'd always thought, for some reason, that there should be yurts on the property. turns out you can import honest to god mongolian yurts from china.

so, I could build or buy a simple storage shed, somewhere between 10'x10' and 12'x20', or I could order a couple of half-length shipping containers, or I could import a yurt.

so, I'm thinking of yurts. Turns out the (significant) shipping charges only get it to the nearest port (their choice, not mine, think New York, not Baltimore or Norfolk, or the Virginia Inland Port in Winchester) and then it's my problem. so now I'm on the prowl for outfits that offer turnkey yurt-delivery experiences, 'cause there's a lot of deatils there that I'd rather not be bothered with. I still gotta schlep it home. will a knocked-down mongolian yurt from china fit in a Durango, or do I gotta drag a trailer to Jersey and back?

Alternatively, the bee stuff may get a nice cheap party tent which can be useful elsewhere if it survives.

sooner or later there's gonna be yurts. I'm not sure I'm ready to facilitate yurt delivery on spec. The bee stuff may get a glorified tent, not a glorious one.

taking the bee keeping plunge

So, yesterday, on Cyber Monday, I ordered bee hives, bee keeping supplies, and bees.

The apirary area should be ready well before Spring, and the bees should arrive about 4/10. I chose Buckfast bees because they're among the most gentle and mite resistant. In fact, the official "West Virginia" bee is a Buckfast variant. I couldn't find any place to get "West Virginia" bees online, so I ordered Buckfasts from Texas.

For starter hives, I ordered four complete cypress hive kits. My "starter" kit also comes with a couple of hive bodies, along with the gloves, hat, veil, suit, smoker, etc.... I also ordered four big plastic footed hive stands, which should let me keep the ants and other crawlies away from the hives.

Over the next couple of weeks, boxes of hive parts and beekeeping tools should start arriving. As long as I have places ready for four 3 packages of bees before April, everything should be fine. Hopefully, about the same time, the big field will be pushing up grasses and clovers, and the bees will have a ready food source to build up their numbers. I'm not expecting much in the way of honey or wax the first year, but my goal for 2009 is to have all four hives survive next Winter and produce well.

the season moves apace, even if the blog entries don't.

the very cranberry cream ale has become my christmas tree, fermenting away under a blanket of cranberry slices in a 15 gallon green demi-jon. the barleywine is waiting on a 10-gallon brewpot but otherwise ready to go, and the mead is waiting on inspiration, although the honey is already on hand.

clearing of the apiary continues, now with just the scrap metal and large rocks to remove before the final brush clearing. should not be any problem to have ready before the bees and hives arrive.

a dead deer has appeared in the maze, fallen to ground right in front of where center stage will eventually be.

the freezer is full of hot peppers (and pork) and I have processed the first 10 gallons of raw Jalapeño sauce. there will also be Serrano sauce and Mixed Greens, though Mixed Greens will be in shorter than desired quantities due to an unexpected frost.

My postings have been brief, cryptic, and sporadic for some time now. I have been in the process of repurposing my life, twice, and this blog as well.

Two years ago, I was ending my career as a network manager for a downtown DC law firm, and this blog was a low-impact substitute for my ancient "What's Weird On The Web?" page. When I quit, my constant immersion in the technology news stream ended, or at least subsided substantially. I'm spending less time on line, and I no longer felt the need to hunt down weird items to link to and comment on. More so, this blog is drifting toward a kind of personal diary, but that too, I hope, is temporary.

The long term goals are to remain self-sufficient, to stand up several hobbies as profitable businesses, and to try and deal with as little bullshit as necessary.

The first "next big thing" was a gardening business with a friend as a partner. It took four months for that to collapse, as my partner demonstrated he had no interest in, nor tolerance for, business. The thing is that by then, I'd been working toward that goal for well over a year, and had fully adapted my original ideas to fit within my friend's. With his departure, I decided I would be foolish to proceed as planned in his absence, but it took me quite a while to step back, revisit my original ideas, and make some decisions on how to proceed.

Instead of a fresh produce business, I'm going to go back to looking at seasonal production of packaged products. I'm continuing to scale up hot pepper and tomato gardening, intended to produce hot sauces and dried tomatoes for sale. I have tested recipes, almost a decade of experience, and wholesale distribution contacts.

I've revised the layout of the garden area, and hope to get the greenhouses in this fall, and finish it all next year except for the raised beds. I've tilled the big field and sown a pasture mix. The field will get overseeded a couple of times, or tilled under if the weeds remain uncontrollable. The northern upper field has been largely cleared, and boundaries for the hedge maze have been surveyed. It will take a decade, but if fully realized, this should be quite the wonderment. I've also begun clearing the southern upper field, and clearing the brush is revealing a lot more real estate than originally visible.

By the end of this year, I want to be getting ready for bees next spring.

At this point, I'm trying to leave any residual sniping at my former employers behind, and comment on the various agricultural and intellectual issues and concepts that interest me. You may see comments on brewing, beekeeping, ceramics and pottery, alternative energy, hedge mazes, and fruit trees, among other subjects. There may be occasional tractor stories.

I've taken no steps to publicize or promote this blog. If you are reading, let me know.

My former employer, specifically the Firm Administrator, is a coward.

I stopped working there in July of '05, a month before my negotiated departure date. I had agreed to work two days a week for two months after my resignation became effective, and without discussion, my departure date was announced as one month after. Odd to beg for a favor, then spurn half of it without discussion, but as I wanted to be gone, I didn't argue.

I elected 18 months of COBRA coverage for health care, something our administrator had never done before. She quoted me a figure in the departure interview, and two months later, followed up by email to ask why I had not paid. I explained that I had been waiting for some kind of statement or invoice, and was informed that there would be none. I did my research, and found that (indeed) this was not a legal requirement -- she was (deliberately) doing absolutely no more than required by law.

About a year after, on 6/1/06, I received an email stating that my premiums would increase EFFECTIVE 5/1/06, and listing the new premium. The retroactive rate increase was unacceptable, and I did not pay. Instead, I signed up for Blue Cross/Blue Shield directly. It took me more than four months of paperwork and a note from my doctor, but I managed to subscribe without any cooperation from my former employer, and minimal cooperation from their insurance carrier. I put all the blame on my former employer, as I found out from the insurance carrier that several things I'd been told were false, and was provided with written documentation that my Firm Administrator had been made aware of this in advance. In other words, she lied, and the insurance company proved it in writing. Knowingly.

Today, things begin to make sense again. I received a statement from the insurance carrier showing that I'd been carried for the full 18 months despite having paid for only 8. My interpretation is that the Firm Administrator was unwilling to force the issue, and hid the fact that they were paying for a former employee's insurance for a year without reimbursement.

I cannot tell whether she did this because she refused to send me anything in writing out of stubbornness, or whether she feared forcing the issue would result in her own increasingly dissatisfied management becoming aware of my true reasons for leaving (her). I am certain, however, that it was not a casual oversight.

Hopefully, the same reasons that kept me insured for almost a year without any payment or collections activity will keep her from sending me a cumulative bill now that I'm off the policy.

From what I hear through the grapevine, I think that if she's fool enough to try, I can end her career. What I hear is that management is increasingly dissatisfied with her, but is waiting for the original name partner to retire before ousting her. Probably to be replaced by the current managing partner's secretary, which is how she originally came to the job.

For the record, I believe the real problem is the new managing partner, who delegated virtually all oversight of the Firm Administrator into oblivion.

Finally. I have divested myself, and no longer suffer a three-hour commute. Below expectations, but enough to settle everything with much to spare.

From the looks of it, if I'd dug in and held on, I might have made it. But why? I miss only the comforts and conveniences, and I can set about recreating those. Without crunching all the numbers, I think I've cut my cost of living by 70-80%. Whatever happens will only put more in my pocket.

I'm on the cusp of being too late to order bees for April delivery, and I'm not ready. I'll spend the year getting ready, and order bees 11 months from now.

Next week, I should be starting seeds for hot peppers, tomatoes, marigolds, and cactus. Next month, I should be starting to till the big field for clover planting.

A year ago, I knew where I was going, and I was wrong. Now, I'm not so sure, but I'm convinced I'm right.

The end of the year would appear to presage the arrival of clarity.

The house in Arlington is under contract, and I have 30 days to finish moving out and find or make places to fit everything. I think I'll end up with the woodworking shop tools in storage until I build a new barn next Spring.

Had I spiffed up the house and sold it at my first opportunity, I'd probably have made $100K more than it looks like now. As it is, though, I can't complain (though sometimes I still do) -- the property has more than tripled in value over the last 12 years. For now, I end up debt-free again, and with a bunch of extra cash in the bank, just not the mad money I'd dreamt of.

For Spring, I want to fence, plow and subdivide the lower field, and plant crops of clover, hot peppers and bees, and also refence the paddock and put in a new storage barn. Beyond that, I'm hoping to put up a few greenhouses, even if they're temporary.

Most of the immediate decisions have been made, and the path is now largely clear.

Having had my erstwhile business partner abandon me, I've been reconstructing the solo effort I had originally envisioned. Having had no immediate success, and considering the need was abandoned with the planned business model, I'll be selling the house in Arlington as quickly as possible, then regrouping through the winter. In the spring, not only do I need to start plowing fields and installing fences, I also need to be putting up greenhouses and looking for a new house near Cumberland.

So a bout of moving, and I'm back where I was a year ago, with a different house and a bigger pile of stuff. In the year, I've managed a lot of work on the ranch, but from a business perspective, the first year was largely a waste.

Solo, the time line stretches.

Further changes force me to recoil and reconsider. Requesting a plan leaves a larger void. Retrace to first determinant branch and reconsider all subsequent choices. Hope for resolution by Labor Day.

My neighbor has a fembot, and I'm jealous. He spends all his time waxing and washing vehicles, and she keeps bringing him cool refreshing drinks and walking like a super-stacked robot with a large blonde wig.

There have been no postings for a while because I have been in the process of becoming. I am currently taking shape, and am beginning to prepare for emergence. If you are watching, let me know. Stay tuned.

Food Served in Miniature Toilet Bowls at Taiwanese Restaurant With Scatalogical Theme: "Giggling helplessly, high school student Chen Yi-lin gulps down a chocolate ice-cream sundae served in a miniature Asian-style squat toilet, and admits that she is smitten."

For your viewing pleasure, I found a version of the story with a picture. The restaurant is named Marton (chinese for "toilet"). $10 to the first person to email me pictures of their bathroom facility (NOT another picture of their dining room). Yes, I want a picture of Toilet's toilets. The real ones, not the decor.

Impotent ex-husband ordered to pay damages: "An impotent Italian man who kept his problem a secret from his wife until after their wedding must pay her damages for 'eroding' her right to have a family, Italy's Supreme Court has ruled."

This is the lawsuit. The marriage was annulled in the 90's. I can see where this would be a justification for divorce or annullment, but once that happens, I'm not sure I understand why he's liable. Limp and liable.

Man injured in domestic fight with wife: He rejected her advances before going fishing: "Richard Brown reported his wife told him that she did not want to go fishing. She allegedly proceeded to pick up a large wine glass and throw it at her husband. The glass broke and cut him behind the left leg, stated Officer Kevin Dunn in the report.

"Misty Brown allegedly picked up a broken piece of glass and threw it at her husband, according to the report. The glass cut her husband's arm. He told officers he fell to the floor bleeding and in pain and begging for his wife to help him."

So, your wife throws a wine glass at you and misses, then throws one of the pieces at you and hits you in the arm. Somehow, he ends up on the floor begging for help. Bullshit. I'm not saying those things didn't happen, but it is wildly improbable that those actions resulted in injuries requiring police, hospitals, and arrest warrants. What really happened?

Army pair's tactics eyed: Student-led sting ensnarls recruiters: "The report featured David McSwane, an Arvada West High School honors student and editor of his school newspaper, who was 'curious' to see what recruiters at a Golden recruitment facility would do if he told them he wanted to join the Army as a high school dropout with a serious marijuana problem.
...
"Starting in January, McSwane met with two recruiters in Golden several times and secretly taped a series of phone calls with them. On the tapes, one recruiter is apparently heard encouraging McSwane to create a fake high school diploma to cover for the fact that he had dropped out.

"'It can be like Faith Hill Baptist School or something - whatever you choose,' the recruiter said.

"McSwane said he bought a phony diploma, complete with a transcript, from a Web site for $200. He was told that it passed the Army's academic evaluation.
...
"McSwane got a friend to film another recruiter driving him to a store to purchase a detoxification kit to rid his system of supposed marijuana traces."

To be fair, I worked as a recruiter briefly. "Answering the phone, putting people on hold, and putting people in the Navy." Drug waivers were all but rubber-stamp as long as the applicant didn't test positive. I saw some questionable things done by people who would have to pack up their family and move if they didn't make their quota, but never anything that rose to this level.

2 Winona High students put free speech to the test: "Two Winona High School students have found themselves in hot water with school officials.

"Why? Because after Carrie Rethlefsen attended a performance of the play 'The Vagina Monologues' last month, she and Emily Nixon wore buttons to school that read: 'I [heart] My Vagina.'

"School leaders said that the pin is inappropriate and that the discomfort it causes trumps the girls' right to free speech. The girls disagree. And despite repeated threats of suspension and expulsion, Rethlefsen has continued to wear her button."

Whenever the principal's quote begins "We support free speech, but..." you have to call them on it. Either they do, or they don't. In this case, unless they want to take the stand that the word "vagina" is inherently offensive, they're fucked. Once you start taking issue with political statements, like wearing black armbands in protest, you lose.

Wild, wild world of island golfing: "There were two alligators near the green on Robber's Row golf course when Parris, who happened to be golfing without his glasses that day, teed off. The ball bounced once about 2 feet before landing directly on one of the reptiles' tails, Lindon said.

"'Unbelievable,' Lindon said with a laugh. 'It was one of the funniest things I had ever seen. The alligator didn't move an inch.'

"When Parris saw where the ball landed, he wasn't tempted to remove it from the gator's tail. He put down a new ball and, in compliance with course rules, wasn't penalized a stroke for the drop."

Two things stand out. First, (there's a pic) the ball looks eminently playable. Dangerous, yes, but how often do you get to use an aligator as a tee? Second, the course has rules that govern this. I wonder how far from the aligator you're allowed to drop your ball?

Disputed Afghan pipeline reviewed: "Afghanistan has said it is capable of protecting a long-delayed multi-billion dollar pipeline that will bring natural gas from Turkmenistan to Pakistan, and possibly to neighbouring India."

What they don't mention is the backstory. This was a Unocal project. The chief lobbyist for the project was Hamid Karzai. It has been suggested that promoting the pipeline project had as much to do with our invasion of Afghanistan as did the Taliban's harboring of bin Laden. It almost entirely explains Karzai's appointment as president.

Marijuana as medicine: The active ingredient of cannabis may protect against heart disease and strokes: "... a paper in this week's Nature, by Sabine Steffens of Geneva University Hospital and her colleagues, suggests the drug (or, at least, its active ingredient) may also have a role in combating heart disease and strokes."

Obviously, Dr. Stephens is a terrorist. Everyone knows marijuana is a tool of the devil, and illegal drugs only fund terror. Or, as The Buggles put it, "they'll send the heart police to put you under cardiac arrest."