Czech outfit punts big mobe for old people: "Etc, etc. Truth be told, we at El Reg can see no difference between this and cheap, readily-available big-key conventional phones, except that the GDP-02 has no wires so it's much easier to drag down the Post Office on pension day. It must be this which has reportedly contributed to 100,000 advance orders for the GrannyMobe, 7,000 of which have been delivered to an unnamed mobe operator."

The picture makes you wonder. I'm not sure this is progress, but it does fill a necessary niche. If POTS is ever to die, we need big bulky mobile phones with huge buttons. You can call it wireless, but don't call it cordless...

Customer banished after hurling Egg McMuffin: "Ottawa County sheriff's Deputy Brent Converse, who handled the call, said the man let frustration get the better of him. 'He returned the sandwich, but not the way he should have,' he said."

The agreed-upon facts are that he was not happy with his order, and returned it in an inappropriate manner.

I have questions. If you can be charged with assault for throwing your sandwich at its maker, doesn't that say as much about the sandwich and its maker as about the thrower? What some used to consider a proper motivation for service excellence, others now consider a matter for law enforcement. Isn't any damage done by (alledgedly cold) egg in your hair far smaller than the damage of publicizing that your restaurant's service drives people to such acts?

My advice? Eat the sandwich, puke on their counter. I have yet to see a successful prosecution of a food-rage incident involving the regurgitation of the food item in question.

Budding cyber love ends in divorce: "A budding romance between a Jordanian man and woman turned into an ugly public divorce when the couple found out that they were in fact man and wife, state media reported on Sunday.

"Separated for several months, boredom and chance briefly re-united Bakr Melhem and his wife Sanaa in an internet chat room, the official Petra news agency said."

We're perfect for each other -- we're both liars and we're both already married.

What the Super Bowl can teach us about men touching men: "The rules are long and often make no sense, but they can be simplified into a male touching playbook.

1. It's less awkward to embrace when lots of men are around: Two uncivilized heterosexual guys alone in a room never know what to say to each other, and will almost never hug lest someone walk in and assume they're lovers. But as more people are watching, they're willing to experiment with arms around the shoulders, playful ruffling of hair and other friendly physical contact.

2. The manlier the activity, the more spontaneous touching is acceptable: This is something men experience when playing sports, drinking low-quality beer and engaging in other bonding rituals. I recall a recent Las Vegas bachelor party where no one got a lap dance, but a hotel-streaking incident turned into a weekend-long all-male group discussion on the tightness of each other's posteriors.

3. In moments of extreme happiness, stress and imminent peril, embracing another man is OK: In other words, while it may create an awkward situation to give another man a little sugar when he's departing for the supermarket, a hug is a wonderful thing if someone is leaving for an independent contracting job in Fallujah."

Football has to be a close second to professional wrestling when it comes to homoerotic overtones. Anyone want to turn this into a drinking game?