'NOTAG' tags bring flood of tickets: "Jim Cara wanted a vanity license tag that would make people laugh. But when he chose 'NOTAG' for the plate on his Suzuki Hayabusa, a sleek blue and silver motorcycle with a speedometer that reaches 220 mph, the joke backfired.

"The new tag arrived Saturday under an avalanche of Wilmington parking violations. 'All the traffic tickets say, 'Notice of violation. License number: no tag,' ' Cara said. City computers, talking to state Division of Motor Vehicles computers, had finally found an address for ticketed vehicles that lacked license tags: Cara's home in Elsmere.

"'I messed up the system so bad,' Cara said. 'I wonder if they can put me in jail or something?' He has received more than 200 violation notices. The mail carrier came twice on Saturday. Cara opened a few. They ranged from $55 to $125 for violations such as meter expirations."

Computers are stupid. They do what they're told. Sometimes programmers seem the same.

Outage reports spur national security debate: "The Federal Communications Commission believes the public outage reports, required since the early 1990s, have helped to dramatically improve network quality. But the rule applies only to landline companies, an anachronistic loophole in this age of wireless phones and voice service from the cable company. So it would make sense to expand the rule to other communications companies, right? Not so fast.

"The FCC's proposal to make that change has met with strong opposition, not only from phone companies but also from the Department of Homeland Security, which contends that the outage reports could serve as blueprints for terrorists bent on wrecking U.S. communications systems. Homeland Security wants future reports to be filed with one of its own infrastructure-monitoring bodies, the Information Sharing and Analysis Center in the National Coordinating Center for Telecommunications, and kept from public analysis. That appears to put Homeland Security at odds with New York City's telecommunications department, the National League of Cities and the Association of Public-Safety Communications Officials, which have endorsed the FCC's plan."

Another instance of secrecy where there need be none. More than any other administration in my memory, the Bush II administration classifies everything it can, and fights any attempts to declassify.

These are publicly licensed and regulated services. We have a right to this information. Could the telcos be reluctant to provide the information, and have they unleashed their lobbyists to head off sensible regulation by the FCC?

Passenger data collection plan dropped: "Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge said officials had all but scrapped plans for the controversial Computer Assisted Passenger Prescreening System, known as CAPPS II, which has come under criticism from privacy advocates and some members of Congress."

"Asked whether the program could be considered dead, Ridge jokingly gestured as if he were driving a stake through its head and said: 'Yes,' USA Today reported."

Don't bet on it staying dead, but bet on it coming back with a different name. For now, it appears they'll concentrate on the opt-in frequent traveller program.

Scientists horrified by Bush's Bad Science: "The Union of Concerned Scientists (UCS), in a new report, has again expressed its feeling of 'embarrassment and disgust' over the way the Bush administration uses - or misuses - science when making policy decisions. The scientists have found that the administration often ignores the recommendations of advisory panels and 'suppresses, distorts and manipulates' scientific work. In particular, the group is concerned about Bad Science affecting environment, emergency contraception and endangered species policies.

"UCS issued a previous complaint in February with 62 signatures but has amassed over 4,000 signatures for its latest report released this month. The signers include 48 Nobel laureates, 62 National Medal of Science recipients and 127 members of the National Academy of Sciences."

Paranoia Goes Better With Coke: "There's a new security threat at some of the nation's military bases -- and it looks uncannily like a can of Coke. Specially rigged Coke cans, part of a summer promotion, contain cell phones and global positioning chips. That has officials at some installations worried the cans could be used to eavesdrop, and they are instituting protective measures."

Let's turn this around. Pack a hidden gps-enabled transmitter in a beverage container and smuggle them onto military bases hidden among other cans of soda.

Wait a minute. The US Government (not to mention many corporations) have facilities that don't officially exist, aren't open to the public, and aren't shown on any map. Most of these handle highly classified material. In many, mere possession of a cell phone or gps locator could get you arrested, or worse. A bevy of coke-heads converging on a covert location to offer some PFC a prize might just as easily get themselves shot.

It's a clever gimick, but also a security risk.

Florida Told to Open Voter List: "In the lawsuit, the state cited a 2001 law that protects the state's Central Voter Database from being copied. State lawmakers said the list should not be public because it would violate the state constitution's privacy clause.

But [Judge Nikki] Clark said that law was unconstitutional, and the Florida Legislature illegally passed the 2001 statute without showing any public benefit.

'The court cannot and will not speculate what the public necessity might be, nor can the court construe or imply the public necessity from the language of the statute itself,' Clark wrote. "

This rooster is no chicken: "No one is quite sure how the bird got the cockamamie idea to set up residence outside a place adorned with 'Eat Mor Chickin' signs."

"The rooster declined to comment."

2,754 gather for nude photo shoot: "Saturday between 4 and 8:30 a.m., 2,754 art lovers shed their clothes to be part of one of New York artist Spencer Tunick's installations. They set the North American record for the largest number of naked people in a photograph."

Hopefully, the record will only last until August. One more way to be alone in a crowd.

Canada's Marijuana Party sells pot seeds to finance campaign: "The party buys seeds in bulk from Canadian suppliers, including Willy Jack and Sensi Seeds, then sells packs of 10 at prices ranging from $10 (US$7.40) for nonviable 'decorative' seeds to $400 (US$296) for 'thoroughbred, Cannabis Cup-winning' varieties."

This would be more impressive if the article didn't state that they've sold "five or six packs."

Pot-Smoking Dominatrix Jumps Into Election: "'I can't believe Elections Canada allows this kind of stuff. I'm not uptight but I can see how some people would consider this to be pornographic,' one Senate employee said. 'I'm shocked, and a little aroused.' "

Honestly, I can think of worse people to represent me than a pot-smoking dominatrix.

High-tech hood put on Mequon suspect: "A man died in Mequon police custody Saturday after an officer placed a high-tech protective hood over the man's head to shield the officer from saliva, the lead investigator on the case said Tuesday.

"Sheridan was arrested Saturday evening on a drug paraphernalia possession charge when the car in which he was riding was stopped after an attendant at a Citgo gas station, 11147 N. Port Washington Road, reported that the vehicle drove off without paying for gas at 5:18 p.m."

Here is the lesson: Stealing gas could cost you your life. Do something stupid, and the cop who arrests you may do something stupid, too.

More False Information From TSA: "Delta, Continental, America West, JetBlue and Frontier Airlines secretly turned over sensitive passenger data to Transportation Security Administration contractors in the spring and summer of 2002, according to the sworn statement of acting TSA chief David Stone. In addition, two of the four largest airline reservation centers, Galileo International and Sabre, also gave sensitive passenger information, including home phone numbers, credit card numbers and health data, without disclosing the transfers to travelers or asking their permission.

"This is the third time in the past nine month that knowledge of the scope of secret information disclosures by airlines has expanded, and now six of the 10 largest airlines are known to have given data to the government secretly. Stone's disclosure also raises questions about whether TSA officials intentionally withheld information from previous inquiries by the Government Accounting Office, members of Congress and the Department of Homeland Security's chief privacy officer, Nuala O'Connor Kelly."

Let's review. The airlines broke the law by violating their own privacy policies. The TSA broke the law by repeatedly denying what they now admit, even in the face of court orders and FOIA requests. The TSA or its contractors broke the law (The Privacy Act) by compiling a secret database on Americans. It also appears that the TSA lied to the GAO and to Congress directly.

To date, none of the passengers whose data was provided to the TSA by six of the ten largest airlines and the two largest airline reservation systems have been notified that their information has illegally been transferred to the government and aggregated into a database system by contractors.

Spicy jambalaya leads to lawsuit: "In the second such complaint lodged against the restaurant, the mother and daughter filed a civil lawsuit Monday in federal court, naming the restaurant, a manager and an officer with the Merrionette Park Police Department as defendants. The suit charges that the plaintiffs were falsely arrested, wrongfully detained and their civil rights were violated. "

The first suit was from a customer who received potatoes on the side instead of a potato-crusted fish, and refused to pay when they wouldn't give her a new fish, just the old one newly potato-crusted. This suit is from two women who asked for Jambalaya spicy and couldn't handle it. They should have had a clue -- the restaurant is named "115 Bourbon Street." They may not know about spicy food in Chicago, but they live and breathe it in New Orleans.

The real question is whether you're obligated to pay for a meal that doesn't meet your expectations. The unstated question is why a restaurant is so unwilling to write off a meal here and there to keep their name out of the paper for silliness like this.

At graduation, parents get a dressing down: "Generating boos and red faces, a speaker from an American Legion post lashed out at parents for how they were dressed yesterday during a fifth-grade graduation ceremony at PS 8 in Great Kills.

"After presenting two students with awards for patriotism and citizenship, Harry Krone of the Watkins-Kellett Post said, 'This is a special day for your children. This isn't a bowling alley or a supermarket.' "
...
"If they see their parents dress up for an important meeting or function, and yet they don't dress up for their graduation, they will assume that it really isn't that important," he said. "It's about the occasion and the respect that the children deserve."

Ahem. Point taken, but this is a fifth-grade graduation ceremony. It really isn't that important. They'll be back next year, in the sixth grade, in the same building. It used to be that you "graduated" when you completed school. This is one of those politically-correct gimmicks used to make every child feel special. Wear what you want.

Tech heavies support challenge to copyright law: "Skirmishes between content-producing companies seeking expansive copyright protections and hardware and telecommunications corporations on the other side have resulted in a legislative deadlock on Capitol Hill.

"Some of the most influential technology companies are planning to announce on Tuesday an alliance that they hope will end the impasse. Called the Personal Technology Freedom Coalition, its purpose is to coordinate lobbying efforts in opposition--at least initially--to the most controversial section of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act. "

Do the telecommunications, software, and consumer electronics industries have enough collective clout to out-lobby the entertainment industry? Why no mention of Fritz Hollings (D-Disney) as he has been the leading proponent of the DMCA and is generally considered the entertainment industry's lackey?

SurfControl distributes email mailing list: "SurfControl yesterday issued an exciting press release outlining 'the dangers facing businesses who do not protect their e-mail communications against confidential data loss'.

As is the local custom, the release was sent by email to a long list of eager recipients. Sadly, the operative responsible has clearly never considered protecting their email communications against confidential data loss by using the handy blind copying facility:"

I've been amazed at the number of companies who seem to think nothing of disclosing their customer list by refusing to understand the BCC feature. This is the first time I've seen such an ironic context. If you're using SurfControl, the page may be blocked...

Making Votes Count: Gambling on Voting: "If election officials want to convince voters that electronic voting can be trusted, they should be willing to make it at least as secure as slot machines. To appreciate how poor the oversight on voting systems is, it's useful to look at the way Nevada systematically ensures that electronic gambling machines in Las Vegas operate honestly and accurately. Electronic voting, by comparison, is rife with lax procedures, security risks and conflicts of interest."

The slot machines are probably a safer bet than the politians, too.

Redneck IT Admins: "TOP 11 signs you may be a redneck IT administrator

"8) You're not surprised to discover your child process is also the parent of your other child process"

There are four pages, and the external links are usually worth it.

A Jet-Powered PDA for Astronauts: "Astronauts want to use handheld computers, said PSA lead systems engineer Keith Nicewarner. But they need their hands free to do experiments -- and they don't want their Treos to float aimlessly around the space station. The PSA, in contrast, can move around and hover in near-weightlessness, thanks to forced air jets about as strong as a small hair dryer's.

"Budget cuts mean astronauts in the station are overworked, and asked to keep on top of experiments and procedures that are so complex that 'it's impossible to remember all the steps,' Nicewarner said.

"The PSA, running on a Pentium II processor and GNU Linux OS, would store the steps instead, and use a built-in speaker or LCD screen to tell or show the astronauts what they need to do. The orb could also keep tabs on some experiments by itself. 'Instead of waking up the astronauts, you could have the PSA snap some pictures and send 'em down,' Nicewarner said. "

Think of a 1' diameter cherry-red whiffle-ball floating in mid-air. Try not to think of HAL.

Scientology link to public schools / As early as the third grade, students in S.F. and elsewhere are subtly introduced to church's concepts via anti-drug teachings: "A popular anti-drug program provided free to schools in San Francisco and elsewhere teaches concepts straight out of the Church of Scientology, including medical theories that some addiction experts described as 'irresponsible' and 'pseudoscience.' "

Ducks have regional accents: "According to the research team, Cornish ducks have a 'chilled out' rural quack while wide-boy London ducks have an unpleasant shouting quack which they used to distract hapless foreigners before making off with their wallets and mobile phones."

I'll take two chilled-out ducks with plum sauce, please.

School yearbooks recalled to remove racial epithet: "Perry Hall High School officials are recalling about 450 yearbooks that were distributed to seniors before the officials discovered that a racial epithet had been inserted next to the name of a biracial student.
...
Yesterday school officials were calling seniors individually and asking them to return their yearbooks, said school system spokesman Charles A. Herndon. Students who will not return their yearbooks might not be allowed to participate in tomorrow's graduation ceremonies, he said."

It's only that last part that I have a problem with. That you won't be allowed to graduate if you won't return your yearbook for censoring. I'd damn well keep mine...

Rumsfeld Fighting Technique: "You may have defeated my Southern Hook Palm technique, but can you defeat the 1000 styles of Rumsfeld?"

Goth grant runs course: "Two years ago, Blue Springs got word the Youth Outreach Unit received $273,000 to 'combat' the Goth culture, and emotions flew. Blue Springs received national attention, and local youth who dressed in Goth-like clothing worried about being singled out.

"But plans for the grant never unfolded, and Blue Springs has returned $132,000 of the money unused. Officials concede today they never found much of a 'problem' at all associated with the Goth culture, and instead have developed a new understanding and acceptance."

In unrelated news, the bill to criminalize low-rider jeans also failed. Kids have to do things that piss off their parents, why should we make every passing fad illegal? At least these people did some rational things -- their Youth Outreach Unit actually seems to have reached out to youth, and the money that was spent was spent on developing understanding, tolerance, and acceptance.

There is also the predictable lack of understanding of how federal grants work. One set thinks the money could have been better used for other things (though of course expressely prohibited), while another set objects to giving back money when spending it would have been silly at best. The question isn't what the money could be used for, but whether it's defined purposed has merit. No merit, nothing to see, keep moving.

Jesus Had Short Hair!: "I Corinthians 11:14 says, 'Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?' The Greek word for 'shame' in this verse is translated elsewhere in the New Testament as 'dishonor,' 'vile,' 'disgrace.' In Romans 1:26 the same word is translated 'vile', 'For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature.' You will notice that these 'vile affections' have to do with homosexuality. It is very interesting that as the trend toward long hair increases, the acceptance of homosexuality increases. This is not to say that long hair and homosexuality always go together, but it is to note the fact that both are on the rise in our generation. Several of the major denominations have now accepted homosexuals. In some cities there are churches for homosexuals pastored by avowed homosexuals. At least one major denomination has ordained a homosexual preacher and others are considering following suit."

Damned long-haired faggots! Oh, wait, I'm one of them. D'oh. Someone tell Rado and Ragni.

They'll be gaga at the Gogo
When they see me in my toga
In my toga made of blond, brilliantined, biblical hair
My hair like Jesus wore it
Alelulia I adore it
Alelulia Mary loved her son
Why don't my mother love me

One Man's Campaign To Rid Radio of Smut Is Finally Paying Off: "Mr. Smith, for one, is listening a lot less than he used to. In March, he became the target of a $3 million harassment suit Mr. Muller filed in Cook County Circuit Court. On his lawyer's advice, he has stopped monitoring Mancow while the case is pending."

So, if you stop your crusade for righteousness because someone sues you, how dedicated are you? You've cost the host $42K in fines already, but you stop as soon as the tables are turned? Hypocrite.

iTunes and Lawsuits: "This is crazy. Online prices should always be much lower than physical CDs. The economics of downloading favor high volume. CDs have to be pressed, warehoused and shipped, but in the online world, you transmit a file to the vendor and just collect money. When a super popular artist like Norah Jones emerges, forget about convincing a hundred thousand people to download it at $13-get a million people to make the mouse-buy for five bucks. It's nice to sell 100,000 Norah Jones albums online at $13, but even better to sell 2 million at five bucks a pop."

They finally start to see that when you remove physical manufacturing and distribution costs, prices should fall.

The recording industry never recognizes this. CDs cost less to produce than LPs did, but cost about double. Online downloads cost virtually nothing to offer, but they're more expensive than CDs. Every time the industry is forced to adopt a new technology (almost always after fighting it every way possible for years), they use it as an excuse to double-up their back end, and stick it to the consumers (also presumably in the back end.)

As an example, www.livephish.com offers CD-quality concert downloads for under $5 per disc, and they sold over a million shows in their first year online. This is the same sentiment echoed in the article -- "This is crazy. Online prices should always be much lower than physical CDs. The economics of downloading favor high volume. CDs have to be pressed, warehoused and shipped, but in the online world, you transmit a file to the vendor and just collect money. When a super popular artist like Norah Jones emerges, forget about convincing a hundred thousand people to download it at $13-get a million people to make the mouse-buy for five bucks. It's nice to sell 100,000 Norah Jones albums online at $13, but even better to sell 2 million at five bucks a pop. "

Activist accused of warning drivers: "''Police Checkpoint Ahead,'' read the orange sign, warning drivers along Northwest 17th Avenue that city of Miami police officers were ahead."

As usual, they're wrong. Of the pair, one was charged. Thankfully, there were another dozen standing by to keep the signs up. One arrest, two signs confiscated. Not only is this obvious free speech, but the cops are being idiots, too.

Statement by the Minister for the Environment, Heritage and Local Government, Martin Cullen TD - 30 April 2004: "The Government decided two months ago to establish an independent Electronic Voting Commission to examine the secrecy and accuracy of the chosen electronic voting system. The formal role of the Commission is an advisory one. The Government has nonetheless made it clear that it will respect the recommendations of the Commission which, under its terms of reference, was required to address the application or non-application of electronic voting to the June polls.

"The Government notes that the independent Commission is unable to provide sufficient positive assurance, in the time available, in relation to using the chosen system of electronic voting at the June elections. The Government has decided that the electronic voting system will not be used at the June polls. These will be conducted in all constituencies on the basis of the traditional paper ballot. Arrangements will be in place to ensure the smooth and efficient running of the polls on June 11th."

Look, if the IRISH don't trust it, maybe it's not as broke as I thought. Naaahhhh...

Seven arrested in YMCA sex ring: "Authorities arrested seven men Wednesday night after accusing them of performing sex acts on one another inside the men's locker room at the YMCA on North Coalter Street, the Staunton Police Department said."

Odd. When I was in the Navy, it was commonly understood that this was what the YMCA was for. Certainly, the Village People understood...

Hatchery salmon to count as wildlife: "Six of the world's leading experts on salmon ecology complained last month in the journal Science that fish produced in hatcheries cannot be counted on to save wild salmon. The scientists had been asked by the federal government to comment on its salmon-recovery program but said they were later told that some of their conclusions about hatchery fish were inappropriate for official government reports.

'The current political and legal wrangling is a sideshow to the real issues. We know biologically that hatchery supplements are no substitute for wild fish,' Robert Paine, one of the scientists and an ecologist at the University of Washington, said when the Science article was published in late March."

On one hand, if you are protecting a species, the hatcheries can produce enough to offset the losses from a degraded habitat. On the other hand, if we have degraded the habitat to the point that it can no longer maintain itself, have we not lost something even if the species is artifically preserved? It seems unclear whether the goal is protecting the species or the ecosystem.

Robotic bollards to take control: "It is envisaged the road markers would be delivered to a location by a specially equipped truck.

"A camera on the vehicle would image the road and send a picture to a worker's laptop. The worker would then indicate on the screen where they wanted the bollards to be deployed.

"Software developed by the Nebraska team would then obtain the precise coordinates and feed these to the 'shepherd' unit so it could lead its herd of red robots into position. "

In a story that screams for a video, there are only still pictures. If this had a dateline of 4/1 instead of 4/28, I'd think the Beeb was making Dalek jokes.

Marillion: appetite for resurrection: "'Instead of gigging round toilets for ten years trying to get a record deal, gig around toilets for ten years and ask people for their email addresses. If what you're doing strikes a chord, you'll be financially better off while remaining pure and free to do what you want.'"

Here's what some are beginning to recognize: Technology has shattered the music industry's biggest monopoly -- distribution. A number of bands are now setting their sights on another of the industry's strengths -- promotion. Unless your primary goal is to get your CDs in the bins at the chain stores in the mall, or Wal-Mart, you don't need the major record labels any longer if you can effectively communicate with your fans and handle your own promotion.

As the article mentions, it's this kind of realization and a few spiffy tricks that are letting dinosaur acts like The Alarm or Marillion break back into the charts 20 years after the music industry wrote them off. I hope this continues -- we'll all be much better off. Not to mention the bands who get a much larger slice of the pie, even if it's a smaller pie, and appear to be gettting a much better return than they did with the majors.

Killer cyberloo kidnaps kiddie: "Details are sketchy, but it appears that the door 'failed to operate', as JC DeCaux nicely put it. The firm warned: 'Children aged 10 or under should not use the kiosks unaccompanied as they are weight sensitive.'

"Exactly. As soon as the devilish digidunny detects a body under 50kg, it knows it has attracted easy prey. Readers are invited to immediately run into the streets with flaming torches and pitchforks and storm the nearest shifty-looking public convenience with cries of 'Kill the monster!'"

There's a Microsoft joke in there somewhere, but I'll leave it to the reader as an exercise.

Diebold apologizes for device flaws: "It is an uncommon day when the nation's second-largest provider of voting systems concedes that its flagship products in California have significant security flaws and that it supplied hundreds of poorly designed electronic-voting devices that disenfranchised voters in the March presidential primary."

The first step is admitting you have a problem. I'm guessing it will be the ONLY step, but that's me.

April 16: Poop For Peace Day: "On April 16, take some time to think when you take your time to stink. Think of yourself on your toilet, and George W. Bush on his, and Saddam and Osama on theirs. Think about the children of Iraq and the children of America, and realize that while their skins are different colors and their gods have different names, their daily ritual is exactly the same. We all poop, which means we're all human, which means we're all brothers and sisters. Any other differences are arbitrary -- we are all united in the daily struggle against the tyranny of the bowel. "

Cheney gets iPod, but what should he listen to?: "A recent profile of Vice President Dick Cheney revealed that his daughters had given him an iPod, the ultrahip digital music player, for Christmas. Mr. Cheney, known for his serious demeanor, hasn't let on publicly what songs he's jamming to. And the Bush-Cheney re-election campaign declined to talk about it. So we asked some local music types what Mr. Cheney should listen to -- and what he shouldn't."

"Deep in the Heart of Texas" -- Constitutionally speaking, it would have been illegal to have two Texas residents on the 2000 GOP ticket, But, according to the VP, although he lived and voted in Texas for the five years immediately proceeding, he was really a "Wyoming resident." Uh-huh.

Paper trail sought for electronic voting: "'People are just realizing exactly what we've bought into in some states,' said Maryland state Sen. Andrew Harris, a Republican. 'The stakes are so high. I don't put it above someone trying to manipulate elections on a grand scale.'"

After an otherwise pedestrian beginning, the article gets interesting. Nice to see the occasional Republican on the side of verification and paper trails.

MSNBC - Media use of gruesome Iraq photos varies: "'On the one hand, you can't shy away from the news, and the news in this case is the indignities visited upon the victims and the jubilation of the crowd,' said Bill Keller, the Times' executive editor. 'At the same time you have to be mindful of the pain these pictures would cause to families and the potential revulsion of readers, and children, who are exposed to this over their breakfast table.'"

Let's stick to accurate, detailed, and specific reporting. If there are horrors of war, the American people should be informed. I see no reason to shield the public from the price of US foreign policy. Maybe more people would take action if they knew what was really going on, and why.

Yahoo! News - Study: File-Sharing No Threat to Music Sales: "Internet music piracy has no negative effect on legitimate music sales, according to a study released today by two university researchers that contradicts the music industry's assertion that the illegal downloading of music online is taking a big bite out of its bottom line.

"Songs that were heavily downloaded showed no measurable drop in sales, the researchers found after tracking sales of 680 albums over the course of 17 weeks in the second half of 2002. Matching that data with activity on the OpenNap file-sharing network, they concluded that file sharing actually increases CD sales for hot albums that sell more than 600,000 copies. For every 150 downloads of a song from those albums, sales increase by a copy, the researchers found."

Ahem. File sharing did not decrease sales, it actually had a positive effect on sales of popular albums. The recording industry has just closed its best year ever, despite their global attempts to bite the hands that feed them.

How E-Voting Threatens Democracy: "Up until 1995, Nebraska Sen. Chuck Hagel had been chairman of ES&S (then called American Information Systems) before quitting the company in March of that year two weeks before launching his Senate bid. ES&S, based in Omaha, Nebraska, manufactured the only voting machines used in the state in his election the following year. According to Neil Erickson, Nebraska's deputy secretary of state for elections, the machines counted 85 percent of votes in Hagel's race; the remaining votes were counted by hand.

"Hagel, a first-time candidate who had lived out of the state for 20 years, came from behind to win two major upsets in that election: first in the primary race against a fellow Republican, then in the general race against Democrat Ben Nelson, the state's popular former governor. Nelson began the race with a 65 percent to 18 percent of the vote, becoming the state's first Republican senator since 1972."

First, sell a lot of your voting machines to your home state, then quit your day job, move back, and get yourself elected. Could it be that simple?

County calls out Diebold execs: "After his phone inquiries to Diebold went unanswered, Alameda County Registrar of Voters Bradley J. Clark wrote a letter Monday invoking the performance clause of the county's $12.7 million contract.

"He demanded Diebold deliver within 10 days a written plan to correct multiple problems, foremost of which was forcing the county to use poorly tested, uncertified voter-card encoders that broke down in 200 polling places March 2."

Finally, the civil servants begin fighting back. Is this part of the larger "rebellion of the professionals" that's beginning to rise against political manipulation, or just an isolated case? Either way, props to Alameda for at least trying to enforce the contract terms. Now, wait for the California Attorney General to weigh in on Diebold's side...

Stop the row, no one gets married! - The Economic Times: "In a new twist in the battle over same-sex marriage roiling the United States , a county in Oregon has banned all marriages -- gay and heterosexual -- until the state decides who can and who cannot wed."

Yes! Equal rights for all. Nice to see that some people understand.

Not So Happily Ever After: "Ron Fanelle, a Camarillo middle school teacher, had hoped to keep his personal life out of the classroom.

But that all changed when his seventh- and eighth-grade students recently asked him about a rumor that he was gay and had married his longtime partner in San Francisco. The social studies teacher told his students it was all true.

Since then, the parents of one of Fanelle's students pulled their child out of his class, the father of another accused him at a public board meeting of pushing a pro-gay agenda and Fanelle filed complaints against two teachers accusing them of helping to spread the word among students about his homosexuality."

Let's see: It's OK to be gay, it's OK to get married, but it's not OK to confirm that you're gay and that you got married. If a student asks you if you got married, you shouldn't answer. If another teacher says you did, you might get fired. If another teacher lets the students discuss it among themselves, you might get fired. Oh, and it doesn't matter if their kid is in his class, just knowing that there's a gay teacher in the school is enough to get some parents up in arms.

Confirming suspicions and answering direct and discreet questions can get you in trouble for "promoting a homosexual lifestyle." Since when is providing factual information a bad thing? Aren't the students there to learn?

Vigilantes Troll for Pedophiles: "Perverted Justice has made more than 600 such busts since it was formed in July 2002. The group's volunteers pose as kids in chat rooms, and when an adult engages them in sexual banter, they publish the person's personal data on the site so the group's supporters can harass the adult by phone and e-mail.

"The group says it's protecting children from sexual predators, but critics say its aggressive tactics seldom lead to convictions. "

They don't have to make arrests. They are probably more effective. Sometimes shame works. If you've ever chatted up jailbait online, you should explore this site then go look in the mirror.

Live from the Nuke Free Zone: Uncle Diebold's Clubhouse: "On March 2nd, I was a poll worker for this year's California primary election. More specifically, I was a Systems Inspector in San Diego county, whose problems with voting machines and procedures received some coverage in the national media.

"First, a summary of my personal opinion: I think that current electronic voting systems are better than the traditional systems in terms of security, and also in terms of usability for most people. However, I share the opinion of many bloggers that major security issues remain in the new machines and implementations, and that these issues should already have been fixed."

Another first-person report, complete with the downloadable Diebold manual with redacted passwords. It sounds long on good intentions, and short on verifiable audit trails.

Muslim nations, Europe question U.S. motives: "A majority of people living in Jordan, Morocco, Pakistan and Turkey believe the United States is conducting its campaign against terror to control oil in the Middle East and to dominate the world, according to an international poll released Tuesday."

It doesn't have to be true -- it's enough that this is how our actions are perceived in other parts of the world. It's also why labelling Iraq as part of the "war on terrorism" muddies the waters.

Local officials nearly fall for H2O hoax: "City officials were so concerned about the potentially dangerous properties of dihydrogen monoxide that they considered banning foam cups after they learned the chemical was used in their production."

If you don't understand that dihydrogen (H2) monoxide (O) is indeed "'an odorless, tasteless chemical' that can be deadly if accidentally inhaled," maybe you should stay out of the pool.

California Legislators Urge E-Voting Halt: "In Orange County, poll workers using a new voting system gave about 7,000 voters the wrong ballots, which resulted in ballots being cast for the wrong legislative districts, the Los Angeles Times reported. In 21 precincts, more votes were cast than there were registered voters. Additionally, in San Diego, 64 percent of the precincts failed to open on time because of problems with the machines, Perata said. He added he is sure there are other problems that officials will probably never know about, since there is no paper trail to audit the election."

Shock. Shock and surprise. At least they got a Republican on board...

ACTIVIST TRESPASSED INTO YARD, THINKING POOCH NEEDED COMPANY: "I just wanted to find out if a dog that seemed to be in distress was OK,'' Sherman said. "I do not think my actions were a crime in comparison with abuse or neglect of animals."

"By law, pets are property,'' Sherman said. "I don't accept that."

Then accept this: you're guilty of trespassing and prowling. You may think your actions are more important than the law, but you're wrong.

The Bovine Simulator Project: "Bovine rectal palpation is a difficult procedure for veterinary students to learn and requires considerable practice to accurately identify structures. The majority of teaching takes place on farms with veterinary surgeons but it is increasingly difficult to ensure all students develop skills adequately by the time of graduation. This is partly due to the increased number of students in each year and reduced access to cows. Additionally, when a student is examining a cow the teacher is unable to observe what the student is palpating and the student may not be able to describe their hand position inside the cow. Therefore it is difficult for the teacher to instruct the student in the procedure."

First, you have to imagine Eric the half-a-cow because the simulator is only the upper rear quadrant of the cow. It has one leg (a white pole), no front, and holes in both sides and the rear. Almost every picture includes someone's arm inserted up to the elbow, but they don't mention whether doing that produces the expected sound. For those who like horses, there's also an equine model, presumably with a longer pole.

Science Blog - IM, machine translation on front lines of Iraq: "In late 2002, Rear Adm. David T. Hart Jr., deputy commander, U.S. Naval Forces Europe, suggested the U.S. and its allies use off-the-shelf technology to help them communicate rapidly and accurately, in a way that would reduce the costs and delays of conventional translation practices. In response, ONR's science advisor at the Naval European Command, Chris Hillenbrand, set up a working group with ONR's Tech Solutions office and the ONR math, computer and information sciences division to modify a program that MITRE Corp. had developed for several other service programs. TRIM, or trans-lingual instant messaging, was used in conjunction with a machine-translation engine from Logomedia Corp. and integrated with other commercial IT hardware. The result: the Coalition Chat Line. The technology is getting rave reviews from U.S. and allied-coalition personnel."

You'd hope they've got past that pesky "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak" != "the wine is good, but the meat is rotten" problem with machine translations.

Why 2004 election will defy history: "It was Henry Ford who said 'history is bunk' as he was busy reinventing American industry a century ago. Well, Ford is the man to see about this presidential campaign. So far, patterns of the past haven't predicted a thing, and it's going to remain that way right up to Election Day. For, based on history, neither George W. Bush nor John F. Kerry has a chance."

Obviously, it's going to be Nader's year...

Need Stem Cells? We Got 'Em: "On Tuesday night, two Congress members wrote to Bush criticizing his policies on stem cells. Rep. Henry Waxman (D-California) and Rep. Louise Slaughter (D-New York) said he and the NIH misled scientists and the public by saying more than 64 stem cell lines were available. The NIH denied the accusation, saying it's still unclear how many lines are available."

If you can't say how many there are, how can you support a statement that there are more than a specific number? At least the states and private institutions are starting to avoid the ban on research using Federal funds by funding research themselves. Expect a reaction from Washington to stop the legal pursuit of science.

DEA Accedes to Ecstasy Test: "Many therapists believe -- either from observation or anecdotal evidence -- that Ecstacy can help people suffering from post-traumatic stress and other psychological problems because the drug creates feelings of euphoria, warmth and empathy. Most say that combining the drug with therapy is key to helping patients learn to incorporate what they experience on the drug into their everyday lives."

It took long enough. It doesn't seem to matter what legitimate uses a drug may have -- once the drug warriors get it scheduled, it is usually an effective prohibition on research. If you don't know what's scheduled, you should.

Safety board wants airline passengers weighed: "Air travel would be safer if airlines weighed their passengers from time to time to make sure they know how much weight their planes are carrying, the National Transportation Safety Board says.

"Following its investigation into a commuter plane crash last year in North Carolina, the NTSB said on Thursday that airlines should at least periodically make passengers step on a scale."

Reread that first sentence. The airlines don't know how much weight their planes are carrying. How can you operate an airline efficiently if you don't? Imagine the possibilities. Computer assigned seating for optimal weight distribution. Weight-based fares (yes, "fat class"). Wouldn't it be easier to weigh the loaded planes than to weigh each of the passengers and do the math? If your plane is overweight, just stop at the gas pump after taxiing over the scale...or return to the gate and put someone off.

U.S. Reverses Land Mine Pledge, Draws Anger: "'This new land mine policy is not just a gigantic step backward for the United States, it is a complete about-face,' said Stephen Goose, executive director of the arms division of Human Rights Watch.

"The charity Land Mine Action added: 'While 141 countries around the world -- including all other NATO countries -- have now banned land mines, the U.S. is choosing to continue to use this outmoded and indiscriminate weapon that kills and injures thousands of people every year.'"

It has been pointed out before that one of the reasons 'they hate us' is that we don't understand why they hate us. This is one of the other reasons...

Pigs May Hold Key to Diabetes: "In a study at Washington University in St. Louis, researchers took pig cells from very young embryos and transplanted the cells into diabetic rats. The rats, even without drugs to prevent immune rejection, adopted the pig cells as their own and produced their own insulin."

Great. Look for America to get even fatter, and for the pig population to increase dramatically at the same time.

An Unusual Love Story: "Birds do it. Bees do it. And, it turns out, even the penguins at the Central Park Zoo do it. So let's do it: Let's let gay people make a lifelong commitment to each other openly and in public."

The subhead says it: "Penguins accept same-sex commitments. Why do some people have so much trouble with the idea?"

Nearly one quarter of GLBT people surveyed thought they could already get married in the U.S.: "The data show that 51% of respondents mistakenly believed that civil unions are the same as marriage, while nearly a quarter of respondents (21%) thought same-sex couples can already get married somewhere in the United States. The survey was completed weeks before Massachusetts's highest court reaffirmed its decision ordering that same-sex marriage be permitted no later than May 17 and before San Francisco began to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, at a time when same-sex marriage remained unavailable and illegal throughout the United States."

They're wrong, of course. Which points out one of the bigger problems with modern politics and the reliance on polls. A majority surveyed believe something that's definitively false. The public is largely misinformed. Who knew? At some point, a polititian is going to be wildly successful by ignoring the polls, and telling people to do the right thing because it's right, rather than the wrong thing because it's popular.

Why Cloning Didn't Happen in U.S.: "Researchers say there are many reasons why Koreans -- and not Americans -- were standing at the podium Thursday at the American Association for the Advancement of Science annual meeting in Seattle, not the least of which is the support of the federal government. "

Bow to the religious fundamentalists and ban the inevitable. Make sure others get there first, and watch them reap the benefits while we remain at a disadvantage.

Thief makes off with streakers' car: "Three men who made a racy run through a Denny's restaurant earlier this month were themselves the victims of a keen-eyed customer who apparently made off with the naked men's car -- as well as the clothes they left inside. "

Isn't keyless entry a nifty feature? Bet they wish they had it. Also, they're not being prosecuted -- note to perps: become the victim, avoid prosecution.

Feds step up push to wiretap VoIP calls: "The Bush administration plans to ask the Federal Communications Commission to order Net telephony providers to comply with a law that would permit police to wiretap conversations carried over the Internet. "

We should know later today. If the FCC rules that VoIP is neither telecommunications nor a telecommunications service, it may be hard to consider the VoIP providers as "telecommunications carriers" under the law. If that happens, the Feds come up empty, at least on this attempt.

A Way Out of Automated Phone Hell: "The angrier the caller becomes, the greater the energy that will be apparent in the wave pattern. Once the wave pattern hits the level the computer is programmed to recognize as the frustration cutoff point, the caller will immediately be transferred to the operator. "

It is a good thing to reduce anger and frustration users feel from dealing with automated systems, but is it a good thing to reward profanity and abuse with escallation? Is dealing with one of the standard humans going to reduce their anger and frustration, or just give them someone to vent on? Does this only reward bad behavior?

Government agency exposes day-care data: "Two separate databases with personal information about children and their families were exposed. In one case, a list of children in the county's low-income day-care program was intentionally posted for download on Jan. 22 to a Web site used by computer programmers to hire temporary help. Another database, listing families participating in the county's foster care program, was posted to the same Web site in November. Both remained on the site, free for anyone to download, until they were removed Thursday."

Aside from calling people when they make silly and exceptional mistakes, there seems to be little being done to institutionalize the concepts of privacy and security of personal data within the government and their contracting community.

The power of Google: "On the 3rd of February 2004, this page (or rather the page that was here) was swamped by requests and the server subsequentially failed. The reason was traced to Google introducing a fractal looking logo (see below), which when clicked, performed an image search for 'julia' and 'fractal'. The two most interesting resulting images on the top row of the list were on this page (or rather the page that was here). "

Thanks in part to San Francisco Bay area listeners of KFOG radio, who discussed the fractal logo on-air with a Google staffer. Not only the power of Google, but the power of promotion in the largest US technology center (KFOG also has a San Jose transmitter for Silicon Valley.)

Create a Hoax, Earn Damnation: "'Mac users are nuttier than a fruitcake,' Andy said. 'People have an unnatural emotional attachment to object(s) like computers. For some, their reaction was akin to me butchering their parents or a beloved pet.' "

Apple (well, Steve Jobs) has always strived to make "insanely great" systems. Why should it be a surprise that many of their buyers are insane? See overclockers.com for the original article. I'm not a Mac user either, but I've been very impressed by the G5 system design.

America Gripped By Breast Terror: Sunday's SuperBowl Half-Time show stunned many. I was stunned by the disjointed choreography, missed queues, inappropriate lyrics, flag descration, simulated sex, Justin Timberlake, and the suggestion of violence against women. Others were stunned by the briefly redeeming appearance of Janet Jackson's right breast. I don't get it -- if you're worried about keeping the show to appropriate family fare, why is the rest ok but brief partial nudity crosses the line? To me, it seems that those who are offended are offended by the wrong things. Of course, to me, the marching band was the best part of the half-time show.

There have also been many insisting that Janet exposed her bare breast, which is not accurate. She was wearing a large nipple shield held on with a barbell through her pierced nipple. She was wearing a Shield Style #7 from thechaingang.com. This isn't like a pastie in that it doesn't cover the nipple -- more adornment than concealment.

The Farewell Dossier: "'The pipeline software that was to run the pumps, turbines and valves was programmed to go haywire,' writes Reed, 'to reset pump speeds and valve settings to produce pressures far beyond those acceptable to the pipeline joints and welds. The result was the most monumental non-nuclear explosion and fire ever seen from space.' "

Occasionally, our intelligence succeeds brilliantly. Here is a story on the winning of the cold war, as told by William Safire.

E-Vote Still Flawed, Experts Say: "William Arbaugh, a University of Maryland assistant professor of computer science who participated in the test, graded the system an 'F,' 'with the possibility of raising it to a 'C' with extra credit -- that is, if they follow the recommendations we gave them.' "

They're beinning to do realistic testing, but they can't agree on what the dismal results really mean. This test addressed the systems as a whole after an earlier test where SAIC evaluated the software and proposed a number of changes. The changes had not been made to the systems being evaluated, and other previous recommendations had not yet been implemented. So a number of things that were found are being discounted as old news already addressed. No explanation why the second round of tests didn't include the remediation recommended in the first round, though. Diebold insists all is wonderful, and the state thinks they just need to stick some tape over the locks.

See You on the Darknet - Why we don't really want Internet security. : "Totalitarian governments (you know, like the one in 1984) will clamp down on the Net by instituting a digital Mark of the Beast, a personally assigned crypto-certificate that tags every online transaction, letting authorities track exactly who did what, where, and when. But Walker also argues that the rest of us (the ones who aren't yet peons in Orwellian regimes) will voluntarily sign up for similar surveillance when the certificate system is marketed to us as a cure for spam, fraud, and other Internet annoyances. He's right that we'll be sold this stuff. The question is, will we buy it?"

A better question is whether we'll be given a choice. For most, the implications will never be explained, and opt-out options will seldom be presented. When they are, they'll usually take the form of "to use this program, you must enable this feature." The biggest implication is that there will be more freedom for those who understand their rights and technology, and less freedom for sheep and idiots. We are, however, a nation of sheep and idiots.

Now, These Commercials: "'We're not concerned about getting new members,' Short said of the campaign. 'We're making sure the people we're serving aren't interested in getting anybody else.'"

That's Len Short, AOL's executive vice president of Brand Marketing. AOL now takes a page from Corel -- don't attract new customers, but try to keep your existing customers deluded into staying. When you stop trying to grow your business, you're in decline. Period. If you're already going over the cliff, why not try to fly?

Indians pitcher: Gay porn video was mistake: "Kazuhito Tadano never got a second chance in Japan, where the pitcher was shunned by pro baseball teams after he appeared in a gay pornographic video. However, the Cleveland Indians have accepted Tadano, who may make their club this season."

At the same time Ohio is about to outlaw gay marriage, the Indians are out recruiting gay porn stars for their baseball team. Actually, while he confirms his appearance in a gay porn video, he insists he's not gay. I guess we'll have to wait for the highlight reel.

Flower Power Takes on Land Mines: "The genetically modified weed has been coded to change color when its roots come in contact with nitrogen dioxide evaporating from explosives buried in soil. "

Ok, so it's really Thale Cress, but my first thought was "Poppies, Poppies, Poppies." As Afghanistan is one of the most heavily mined countries in the world, it just seems amusing to think of combining this with their number one cash crop. Could carpet bombing give way to carpet seeding? If so, could super-accurate Predator-style drones target the red-flowered cress plants?

Students disciplined for posters on King Day: "A small group of Westside High School students plastered the school Monday with posters advocating that a white student from South Africa receive the 'Distinguished African American Student Award' next year. "

In a school with fewer than 70 blacks out of 1,843 students, he may have been the most qualified candidate. Another example of racism in reverse -- it's OK to single out a black student for an award because they're black, but try recognizing a white guy who's more african than they are, and all hell breaks loose.

Gay Marriage Poll Gets Annulled: "'We're very concerned that the traditional state of marriage is under threat in our country by homosexual activists,' said AFA representative Buddy Smith. 'It just so happens that homosexual activist groups around the country got a hold of the poll -- it was forwarded to them -- and they decided to have a little fun, and turn their organizations around the country (onto) the poll to try to cause it to represent something other than what we wanted it to. And so far, they succeeded with that.' "

So, they post a poll on the Internet, expecting that only righteous homophobes will vote, and when they find that the public doesn't share their view, they blame "homosexual activists." Obviously, everyone who understands that the separation of church and state will eventually force the courts to force the state to get out of the "sanctification" business is a homosexual activist. If you want to save marriage, or the "sanctity" of marriage, you need to get the government out of the marriage business. If you let the churches sanctify what they want, and let the government stop discriminating in which relationships they recognize, you'll save the sanctity of marriage. If not, the courts will eventually force the government to recognize gay marriages. Of course, you'll also find churches that sanctify gay marriages, whether the state does or not.

Nicked for doing 406mph: "The Peugeot 406 Sport has a top speed of 129mph. But when he saw the letter it confirmed that he had been exceeding the 60mph limit in Runcorn, Cheshire at 406mph."

Despite the impossible cited speed, they're still moving to prosecute, applying to magistrates for a summons. Here in DC, they ended up tossing out thousands of traffic camera tickets when the cameras were found to be miscalibrated, off by as much as 10-15 mph. No explanation for how the UK system can still be enforced when it appears to be off by about 300 mph if not more.

It should be noted that the British hold the world land speed record, although it was set in a jet-powered car in the Black Rock Desert, not in a Peugeot 406 Sport in Runcorn, Cheshire.

Microsoft backpedals on MikeRoweSoft threats: "Microsoft has admitted it took things 'too seriously' when its lawyers threatened a 17-year-old student called Mike Rowe over his domain name.

"Microsoft has admitted it may have made a mistake in threatening Mike Rowe for using his website, mikerowesoft.com."

The crux of the biscuit appears to be that, insulted by their $10 offer to buy the domain (refunding his "out of pocket expenses" consisting solely of the domain registration fee), he made an equally irrational counter-offer. Microsoft's lawyers immediately asserted that this demonstrated his intention to offer the domain for sale for a profit. That's a common lawyer trick, but it appears to have backfired this time.

Craving brain food, mad cow or no: "Cecelia Coan of Evansville, Ind., looks over the deep-fried cow brain sandwich she ordered to go at the Hilltop Inn in Evansville, Ind. The brains, battered with egg, seasoning and flour, puff up when cooked and trace back to a time when southern Indiana newcomers from Germany and Holland were frugal with their slaughtered cattle."

How to Deconstruct Almost Anything: "The essential paradigm of cyberspace is creating partially situated identities out of actual or potential social reality in terms of canonical forms of human contact, thus renormalizing the phenomenology of narrative space and requiring the naturalization of the intersubjective cognitive strategy, and thereby resolving the dialectics of metaphorical thoughts, each problematic to the other, collectively redefining and reifying the paradigm of the parable of the model of the metaphor."

As an aside, "The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon; the vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true."

OK, so I'm teasing the most convoluted part. The article goes on to actually explain the literary style of deconstruction in simple terms, separating the style from the frequent lack of substance. Now I understand the objections to deconstruction -- I had been confusing the simple, practical method of "parsing the language" from the complex and slightly deranged literary metaphysics exercise.

MSNBC - What Party Elders Overlook in Dean: "Former New Jersey Senator Bill Bradley, himself a past Democratic Presidential candidate who recently endorsed Dean, has figured out what party insiders haven't. With turnout below 50% in Presidential elections, millions of potential voters are up for grabs. It's the Democratic Party that has the best chance to win them over. But without that infusion of new blood, the party will be trapped like a hamster on treadmill, frantically running in place to hang on to those seniors, minorities, and women who form the old party base.

"Yes, Dean may be the riskiest of the Democratic hopefuls. But he also offers the party its best chance of breaking through the red state/blue state, 50/50 split in the popular vote that has thrown modern-day Presidential elections into gridlock. "

I've been saying since 2000 that what the Democrats need is a charismatic firebrand populist who is willing to return to core Democratic values, speak his mind and take positions even if they are at odds with the polls and discard the strategy of "triangulation", and re-invigorate the party witn an influx of new (young) voters. In Vermont, 80% of the voters polled were against civil unions when Dean signed the measure, yet Dean ran his re-election campaign on the issue and won. If he can sell the message in the Bible Belt that the only way to save the religious institution of marriage is to institute the civil instituion of civil unions -- the whole separation-of-church-and-state issue -- he may be able to persuade many religious moderates to support him. If he can convince religious moderates that civil unions will guarantee religious freedom, he can splinter the Republican religious right. And win? Maybe -- call it a bank shot.

Carnival Booth: An Algorithm for Defeating the Computer-Assisted Passenger Screening System: "To improve the efficiency of airport security screening, the FAA deployed the Computer Assisted Passenger Screening system (CAPS) in 1999. CAPS attempts to identify potential terrorists through the use of profiles so that security personnel can focus the bulk of their attention on high-risk individuals. In this paper, we show that since CAPS uses profiles to select passengers for increased scrutiny, it is actually less secure than systems that employ random searches. In particular, we present an algorithm called Carnival Booth that demonstrates how a terrorist cell can defeat the CAPS system. Using a combination of statistical analysis and computer simulation, we evaluate the efficacy of Carnival Booth and illustrate that CAPS is an ineffective security measure. Based on these findings, we argue that CAPS should not be legally permissible since it does not satisfy court-interpreted exemptions to the Fourth Amendment. Finally, based both on our analysis of CAPS and historical case studies, we provide policy recommendations on how to improve air security."

It's sad when college students can knock holes in your security system before you deploy it, demonstrate how to game the system, and recommend something better. It's refreshing when the something better is simpler and less invasive and presents no new privacy concerns. It's maddening to know that common sense and civil liberties will be trounced by clueless polititians anyway.

McCormick & Schmick condom girl previously sued Taco Bell over spilt coffee: "The California woman who sued a restaurant after allegedly finding a condom in her chowder agreed yesterday to a confidential settlement of her legal claim. Amazingly, if Laila Sultan is to be believed, the condom episode was the second time she was forced to sue over an injurious incident at a chain restaurant. In December 1996, Sultan sued a Long Beach Taco Bell after she was burned by some spilled coffee (Sultan claimed her tray was bumped into by some rambunctious young customers). A Taco Bell lawyer told TSG that Sultan's claim was 'a b.s. case,' but that the fast food firm settled the matter for about $2000 to avoid hefty legal fees. Before settling in the condom case, a lawyer for McCormick & Schmick's seafood restaurant ridiculed Sultan's claim, saying there was 'absolutely no evidence to suggest the restaurant was the source of the condom' found in her grub in February 2002. Along with the restaurant lawsuits, Sultan's tort history includes two other lawsuits, both of which she filed after allegedly being injured in auto mishaps. Below you'll find Sultan's Taco Bell lawsuit. (5 pages) "

Dell in front line of War on Terror™: "Being an honest terrorist organisation, we frankly stated that the PDA was for export to Chad (Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, North Korea and Syria being unavailable as options), that the intended use was government/military and that the product would indeed be used in connection with weapons of mass destruction. "

Of course, it then invited them to pay and offered immediate shipment. They theorize "Of course, it's likely that Dell's cunning plan involves taking the credit card payment for intelligence-gathering purposes and then sending in the helicopter gunships."

Wait a minute -- Dell has helicopter gunships?

New system no easy touch for 134 voters in Broward: "Bogdanoff had a ready explanation for the mystery. She theorized that some of the people who cast nonvotes were among the county's true-blue Democrats who were appalled to find a ballot with only Republicans.

''That would make a heck of a lot of sense if you were looking for a Democrat on the ballot,'' she said."

It may be a valid explanation, but we'll never know, because the system produces no independant audit trail. Why is it that when these things happen, they always seem to break in favor of the same party? Also, why was only one party represented?

Treasury breaks word on e-mail anonymity : "Jim Harper, editor of the Privacilla.org privacy advocacy site, says 'Treasury's privacy promise included an important unwritten caveat: 'Unless keeping this promise is inconvenient.'' "

Sue them for violating their posted privacy policy, and fine them for each element improperly disclosed. The bastards.

Citing 'security concerns,' Tom Ridge pulls the plug on 'Yes, Dear': "Countering critics who have charged that the cancellation of 'Yes, Dear' might be an overreaction on the government's part, Mr. Ridge said, 'Whether or not 'Yes, Dear' was going to be used as part of a plot to destroy the world, I think we can all agree that we're better off without it.'"

"Mr. Ridge added that, effective Monday, CBS would replace "Yes, Dear" with repeated airings of Ed Bradley's "60 Minutes" interview with Michael Jackson "until the end of time."

Reuters AlertNet - German government builds 225,000 euro frog tunnel: "Germany's cash-strapped government is paying 225,000 euros ($285,200) to build a tunnel to help frogs avoid the perils of a busy road, officials said on Monday.

"Germany's government is expected to breach European Union budget deficit limits for a third year in a row in 2004."

Slate reads another Dean book so you don't have to.: "Dean's Kentucky campaign begins poorly: Letters received by Dean after he signed Vermont's civil-unions bill: 'I was really sorry to read where you have allowed the passage of a bill recognizing queers to marry,' wrote someone from Kentucky, 'who vowed never to vacation in Vermont again.' 'I have been a Democrat all my life, but now that the Democrats are turning into queers, I am switching to the Republican Party. I hope you and all your queer buddies rot in hell.'

"Another said, 'Dean Is a Faggot Lover. All Homosexuals, Go to Vermont, Dean Loves You. All Normal People, Stay Away From Vermont. A State Full Of Perverts—Run By Perverts. Boycott Fag Run Vermont.' On one fund-raising walk after the bill-signing, an elderly woman walked up to Dean and said, 'You fucking, queer-loving son of a bitch.'"

Unfortunately, we aren't told who was really living in Howard Dean's room at Yale -- Brother Jim Dean (who now works for the campaign) describes his brother's 1971 graduation from Yale: "We get to Howard's room, and he isn't there, but there are a bunch of people apparently living there who aren't Yale students but are kind of street people with tattoos and all."

What You Can't Say: "You have to take that extra step if you want to think clearly. But it's harder, because now you're working against social customs instead of with them. Everyone encourages you to grow up to the point where you can discount your own bad moods. Few encourage you to continue to the point where you can discount society's bad moods."

"(This essay is about heresy: how to think forbidden thoughts, and what to do with them. The latter was till recently something only a small elite had to think about. Now we all have to, because the Web has made us all publishers.)"

Despite Best Efforts, Doughnut Makers Must Fry, Fry Again: "In the summer of 1997, the FDA, armed with search warrants, raided Mr. Ligon's office and packaging facilities in Kentucky and Illinois, seizing 18,720 doughnuts, along with cinnamon rolls and labels. Mr. Ligon shut down the business, but the FDA pursued a criminal case."

Doughnut fraud is serious, and shall incur the full weight of law enforcement. I wonder how long the doughnuts lasted in the evidence room?

TSA Chief At Dulles Is Charged With DWI: "On a night considered at particular risk of terrorism, with extraordinary security actions in place across the country, Brady was supposed to be at his airport post until 2 a.m. TSA spokeswoman Jennifer Marty said that Brady should have been participating in a security exercise to ensure the safety of air travelers at that hour."

Thank you. I feel safer now.

'Queer Eye' Questions Code Orange: "But even as he attacked Ridge’s choice of orange, Kressley did not recommend that the government step back down to a yellow alert, pronouncing that color “yucky beyond Thunderdome.” For his part, Kressley unveiled a new “Queer Eye” terror alert chart, featuring such colors as raspberry sherbet, scarlet and blizzard."

White, off white, antique white, ivory, cream.

Wired News: Judge Bars Forced Anthrax Shots: "The Pentagon must stop forcing servicemen and women to take the anthrax vaccination against their will, unless President Bush signs a special order, a judge ruled Monday."

I will encourage him to sign such an order. The military is one of the very few arenas where I would recommend forced vaccination. It isn't so much using our servicemembers as guinea pigs, it's more a matter of protecting them (and their ability to successfully complete their mission) from agents that are much more likely to be encountered in an operational military setting than in civilian life. Maybe it's a matter of the required waiver never having been issued by President Clinton, but it worries me when the judiciary actively impedes national defense.

Texas housewife busted for hawking erotic toys / Sales rep for Brisbane firm sold vibrator to undercover agents: "Joanne Webb, a former fifth-grade teacher and mother of three, was in a county court in Cleburne, Texas, on Monday to answer obscenity charges for selling the vibrator to undercover narcotics officers posing as a dysfunctional married couple in search of a sex aid.

"Webb, a saleswoman for Passion Parties of Brisbane, faces a year in jail and a $4,000 fine if convicted."

As a result, her husband had a nervous breakdown, and she's left wondering. "We have a real problem with drugs in our schools,'' she said, "and they're using our narcotics officers to entrap me for selling a vibrator.''

Columbine spoof online way out of line: "Using that logic, I could create a website pretending I have a target-shooting business with cutout targets that resemble naked, rail-thin Jews as part of a re-enactment of the Holocaust.

"Or I could dream up a re-enactment of a slave ship heading to America. For only $25 you can enter this makeshift vessel and feel what it's like to get whipped and beaten while chained and unable to defend yourself."

Today's example of a reporter who doesn't get it. While demanding accountability from a tasteless spoof site, she gives many inches of free publicity including a link, but fails to follow up on the falsified domain registration. She finishes by inciting hack attacks against the site, without realizing she already has enough information to revoke the domain registration. Why is a journalist whining about tastelessness on the 'net when her point is accountability, and why is she advocating illegal action when she has documented facts that provide a legal means? And why does she feel action must be taken, rather than simply reporting facts?

California blocks sales of 'Glofish' pets - Dec. 4, 2003: "'For me it's a question of values, it's not a question of science,' said commissioner Sam Schuchat. 'I think selling genetically modified fish as pets is wrong.' "

Which is unfortunate, since his job is to enforce the law. Worse, he went on to say "To me, this seems like an abuse of the power we have over life, and I'm not prepared to go there today." The law in question was meant to prevent commercial fisheries from threatening local species should GM food crop fish be released into the wild. The pet store fish will not survive in the wild, and cannot reproduce.

Teacher to 1st-graders: Santa is fake: "'How do you destroy a 6-year-old like that?' said Pam Sturt, whose son Bradley is in D.J.'s class."

Delusion is not the same as innocence. I'd ask the same question of the parents who told the kid lies. Of course, it's easier to blame a teacher for telling the truth. You shouldn't blame the DJ either.

Experts voice doubts about voting machines: "As Nevada Secretary of State Dean Heller considers which electronic voting machines to buy for the state, two national computer experts said their tests show the devices are unreliable and should not be bought until questions about security and accuracy can be answered.

"But the manufacturers disagree, and Heller said he plans to enlist the expertise of the Nevada Gaming Control Board to ensure the machines are secure and accurate."

That can't be bad. The controls which the Nevada Gaming Control Board places on slot machines dwarf the controls that most states have placed on electronic voting systems. They have substantial enforcement experience, too.

Ohio Halts E-Voting Machines: "COLUMBUS, Ohio -- The state's top elections official said Tuesday that security problems found in new touch-screen voting systems mean they won't be in place statewide in time for the November 2004 presidential election."

That would be Ohio's Secretary of State. Maryland delayed, then went forward under pressure from the Republican governor. Diebold is responding that the same mitigation they used in Maryland will satisfy Ohio. I presume that means having the Republican governor of Ohio (Bob Taft) apply pressure.

Also worth noting (again) is that Diebold Election Systems is headquartered in Ohio, and it's president is a major Republican fundraiser who is "committed to helping Ohio deliver its electoral votes to the president next year."