Get PLAY: NU gets good vibrations: "I don't own a vibrator. But I think I might be the only girl who doesn't. "

She blames "Sex and the City" and feigns surprise, but I think we should take up a collection.

Cajun Turducken: "What's a turducken? It's a turkey, stuffed with a duck, stuffed with a chicken. Plus lots of Cajun dressings and seasonings."

I discovered Turducken when I was looking for an antidote to Tofurkey.

Funkins - Carvable Pumpkins!: "Fun-Kins® are made of a low density, flame resistant, polyurethane foam. The consistency of the foam is similar to a real pumpkin shell.

"The foam is tinted orange inside and out to give your Fun-Kin® a real glow when lit."

Fake foam pumpkins. Whatever happened to "grows on trees"?

Copyright officials rule against Lexmark: "Lexmark International, the world's second-largest printer maker, had charged that SCC violated the act by making components for use in remanufactured laser printer toner cartridges. Among the components is a chip that mimics the behaviour of one made by Lexmark.

The ruling says that section 1201 of the DMCA allows aftermarket companies to develop software for the purpose of remanufacturing toner cartridges and printers."

Good. One problem fixed, many others remain. Toner cartridges down -- garage doors, the MPAA and the RIAA to go.

Hernando: Food robber takes all but the bread: "The gunman may have thought he was stealing Arby's night deposit when he made off with an employee's dinner."

Ahhh... the old "dine and dash", or is that dash and dine...?

Twenty-twenty-twenty-four hours to go: "Kiefer Sutherland must be exhausted. Over the course of two days, his character on Fox’s “24,” counter-terrorism expert Jack Bauer, has experienced more heartbreak, death, loss and explosions than all the other people in Los Angeles combined. And he’s done it all without stopping to use the bathroom."

Well, not really. Jack was seen at a urinal in S2 while Mason struggled with radiation sickness. Time will tell whether S3 suffers from the same flaws as S1 or S2. Mandy and the cougar top my wish list for recurring characters...

Hollywood takes anti-piracy message to school: "But some copyright law experts aren't pleased that the MPAA is the only sponsor for such classroom discussions. They worry that the lesson plans don't address "fair use'' constitutional protections for digital copying for personal or educational use.

"This is really sounding like Soviet-style education. First they're indoctrinating the students and then having students indoctrinate their peers,'' said Wendy Seltzer, a lawyer for the Electronic Frontier Foundation. "The takeaway message has got to be more nuanced. Copyright is a complicated subject.''"

I do not like the idea of corporate interests getting access to students for one-sided propaganda campaigns. However, at $1 to reach 9 students, it's a real bargain for the MPAA. From the article, though, it appears the students are largely not buying it. Good.

Afghan beauty trades burka for bikini: "THE FIRST AFGHAN entrant in an international beauty contest for 30 years, and the first since the fall of the hard-line Islamic Taliban government in 2001, joined more than 50 other women at a posh hotel in the Philippine capital this week to fight it out for the Miss Earth title."

The only other Miss Afghanistan was Zohra Daoud, who joined the Miss Universe contest in 1972. That was 7 years before Vida Samadzai was born. Another vote for Democracy, Whiskey, Sexy.

White faces charges for asking minor for sex: "Reverend Stephen White, infamous for preaching against homosexuality and sexual promiscuity at Yale and other college campuses, now faces charges that he solicited sex from a teenage boy in a Philadelphia suburb."

Today's lesson in hyprocrisy. Fred Phelps, are you listening?

Judge rejects U.S. request to search for, delete classified records: "The Justice Department says it may renew an extraordinary request to let the FBI conduct a search-and-destroy mission on any computers harboring classified information about a 1980s case that temporarily became public in a lawsuit. A federal judge previously rejected the idea.

"The initial request from federal prosecutors in Sacramento, Calif., was considered highly unusual by legal experts because it did not specify which computers the government believed might contain the classified information or how agents would retrieve and destroy information already made public."

"U.S. District Judge Garland E. Burrell Jr. agreed with the government's request to remove the classified documents from the court file and substitute sanitized versions. But in his decision last week, Burrell rejected as "unsupported by authority" the government's broader request to seek out and delete any electronic copies that might have been downloaded onto others' computers before they were effectively sealed."

We won't say what, we won't say who, and we won't say where -- can we go now?

Thankfully, at least for now, you can see what all the fuss is over. The California First Amendment Coalition (CFAC) has made the sealed documents available on their web site. Makes you wonder why no specifics were given, unless asking for a warrant against the California First Amendment Coalition was something they didn't want publicized. The two documents are available (for now) here and here.

Georgia runs from the MATRIX: "'The State of Georgia will not transfer any additional information to the company responsible for the MATRIX project,' said Governor Perdue. 'I have held serious concerns about the privacy issues involved with this project all along, and have decided it is in the best interest of the people of Georgia that our state have no further participation in the MATRIX pilot project.

'The criminal, prison, and sexual predator information previously submitted will remain part of the database. This information is relevant to the crime fighting purpose of the pilot project, but personal information of law-abiding citizens is not. I feel today's decision reflects a proper balance between fighting crime and respecting the right to privacy.' "

Cost was also cited as a reason for pulling out. At least they're doing the right thing, if partially for the wrong reason. The new strategy appears to be to shift the interdicted DARPA projects down to the state level under the auspices of a private contractor, Florida-based Seisint. Yes, you've heard that name before...

Rumsfeld memo on Iraq, Afghanistan: "It is not possible to change DoD fast enough to successfully fight the global war on terror; an alternative might be to try to fashion a new institution, either within DoD or elsewhere -- one that seamlessly focuses the capabilities of several departments and agencies on this key problem."

Not to harp on the Rumsfeld thing, but here is the complete text of the memo referenced below. Fuel for the "shadow government" fire...

Election boils down to a culture war: "The culture war between the Red and Blue Nations has erupted again — big time — and will last until Election Day next year. Front lines are all over, from the Senate to the Pentagon to Florida to the Virginia suburbs where, at the Bush-Cheney ’04 headquarters, they are blunt about the shape of the battle. “The country’s split 50-50 again,” a top aide told me, “just as it was in 2000.” Translation: They can’t win re-election by wooing the (mostly coastal) Blue states, but only by firing up (mostly non-coastal) Reds."

To my eye, Howard Fineman presents some of the most lucid and insightful political reporting, and he does it in an extremely accessible way. Yes, we're still fighting the "culture wars", and we will be for years. Remember, there are no winners in war, except those making the weapons. Until we have a leader who insists on doing the right thing, not the politically expedient thing, we're screwed.

There's hope. Take Howard Dean (please). In Vermont, he signed civil unions legislation despite popular opinion running 70% against. When he ran for re-election, he ran on the issue, doing what many considered politically suicidal. He was able to convince a substantial majority to vote for him, saying that it was the right thing to do, and explaining that any other strategy would eventually legitimize gay marriage. If the state doesn't offer equal rights outside of marriage, the courts will inevitably sanction gay marriage. His approach allowed the religious issues to remain religious issues, while addressing the underlying civil rights issues. This is how you avoid the culture wars.

The price of liberty is tolerance. We are made stronger by our differences, by our tolerance of those different than we are, and by our acceptance that those with opposing views must be equally protected. We are made weaker by favoring special interests, yielding to partisan self-interest over what's good for the country, and by attempts to legislate morality.

Rumsfeld questions war on terrorism: "'Today, we lack metrics to know if we are winning or losing the global war on terror,' Rumsfeld wrote. 'Are we capturing, killing or deterring and dissuading more terrorists every day than the madrassas and the radical clerics are recruiting, training and deploying against us?'

'It is not possible to change DoD fast enough to successfully fight the global war on terror,' Rumsfeld wrote. 'An alternative might be to try to fashion a new institution, either within DoD or elsewhere -- one that seamlessly focuses the capabilities of several departments and agencies on this key problem.'

'The U.S. is putting relatively little effort into a long-range plan, but we are putting a great deal of effort into trying to stop terrorists,' Rumsfeld wrote. 'The cost-benefit ratio is against us! Our cost is billions against the terrorists' costs of millions.' "

Let's review. We are fighting an open-ended war against an invisible enemy with no clearly defined way to tell if we are winning. Rumsfeld now openly admits that. His solution? To create a new "institution" that integrates several agencies to accomplish this. We've already pulled elements of too many agencies into Homeland Security, now Rumsfeld is suggesting that we set up a military equivalent.

When the "solution" is to cannibalize civilian agencies to create the Department of Homeland Security, then to cannibalize military agencies to create an equivalent -- people should be asking for a better definition of the problem. The "solution" resembles a coup as much as a rational response to terrorism. Few administrations have ever gone so far in establishing their own security apparatus, and if pursued, I believe the military agency Rumsfeld advocates would be unprecedented. With extremely limited legislative oversight, and secrecy laws that exclude most judicial oversight, it is appropriate to ask what other uses these agencies might have, beyond their stated purposes. bin Laden said that his true victory would be in America turning itself into a police state in reaction to terrorist attack -- is this not what we are witnessing?

Jeremiah Akin's observations about Riverside County's Logic & Accuracy testing: "I recently took part in the Riverside County Logic and Accuracy Testing Board that met on 9 September 2003. This board was put together to observe testing of the touchscreen voting system that Riverside County uses.

There were several problems I saw with the running of the test. Among them were:

-- People signed a form stating that they had witnessed the test and had verified the results, before the test was completed.

-- The test was run in a pre-election mode of the vote counting software. No test was run on the software while it was in the configuration that it would be in on election day.

-- The observation board was given a seriously misleading description of the make up of the voting system that Riverside County uses. Sequoia Voting Systems, the manufacturer of the touchscreen systems, also gives a very misleading description of their products on their website and in their brochures. "

Kudos to Peace and Freedom Party for getting someone who is technically qualified onto the Logic and Accuracy Testing Board. Boos to the board for rubber-stamping the system before a flawed testing procedure was even completed.

Links to the Salon interview and the full report (.pdf) fill in many additional details.

Man Stabs Lectern at Riverside Meeting: "Police arrested a man who pulled out a pocketknife when he appeared before the Riverside City Council on Tuesday night and stabbed the speaker's lectern to illustrate what he considered lax security at City Hall.

The incident appeared to unnerve council members, some of whom were wounded five years ago this month when a gunman walked into City Hall and opened fire. Seven people were injured in that shooting."

You'd think that after a shooting, they'd have improved security. Instead, they'll punish the citizen who points out that they're still vulnerable.

How do you handle people who are outraged at lax security, and demonstrate its shortcomings? There's a college student in court this week for sneaking prohibited items onto planes after warning the airlines and TSA that their security was ineffective and that he would demonstrate this. Sadly, he'll probably go to jail. Rather than improve the system, punish those who illustrate its weaknesses.

Hardware Analysis - How NOT to install computer hardware -: "Well, for the sake of these retailers as well as those having to buy these opened boxes, this article covers the basics of how NOT to install newly purchased hardware. Please give it a good read and take the advice to heart. And keep in mind that it is only fair to keep the hardware you break, don't return it because of your own mistake to not properly install it. Furthermore, use these instructions at your own risk, we take NO responsibility whatsoever and do take the above with a grain of salt, we consider ourselves among the above mentioned enthusiasts too."

Anyone who has worked in computer service should recognize most of these, especially if they've dealt with personal systems. They omit the common tricks of using liquids (including the convenient "cup holder" features", foreign objects, and debris. I like reversing all the fans, coating all the internals with spray adhesive, and setting it right behind my table saw -- produces a nice coating of sawdust on everything inside...

Caucasian Club founder decides to leave school: "'On one level, it is understandable that when white students see other students celebrating their cultures and participating in activities that recognize their backgrounds, like Cinco de Mayo or the Chinese New Year's Parade, those students might feel some degree of resentment. They wonder if they, too, have an ethnicity,' Noguera said. 'But almost everything else, though it's not named as a celebration of white people and white culture, is just that. Most of U.S. history glorifies the experience of individuals and groups of people who are white. That is the norm.' "

I've always wondered why it's acceptable to have minority clubs but not majority clubs. I've also wondered who'd show up for the "white" club -- enough to make me think it might not be such a good idea. But if you can found a Latino club without being a racist, why can't you found a caucasian club? The lesson is that overt advocacy of culture related to race is only acceptable if your race is in the minority, otherwise, you'll be perceived as a racist.

RIAA Sequentially Repeating Edison's Mistakes: "After watching the RIAA's public Dance of Death closely for only about a year, everything they do is so predictable that I'm beginning to wonder if they even have any control over their own destiny. For some inexplicable reason, they seem compelled to follow through until the final scene, perhaps unaware that there's been a rewrite in the ending over the last 90 years.

While suggested reading is the series I did earlier on Thomas Edison, here is a synopsis of how Edison's approach to running an entertainment industry so closely parallels what the RIAA is trying to do. After all, the goal is the same -- to maintain a monopoly."

Another historical analogy to the current RIAA fiasco. Slightly different than Ford, but with equal precedent for eventual sanity.

Cold War encryption laws stand, but not as firmly : "Bernstein's case, and two other similar attempts, have been credited with forcing the federal government to drastically scale back its attempts to regulate the kind of privacy-protecting encryption technology used in every Web browser and many e-mail readers. At one point such encryption was regulated by the State Department and treated as a 'munition' like tanks and fighter jets, but the Clinton administration responded to the lawsuits by relaxing the rules and transferring responsibility to the Commerce Department.

At a hearing in October 2002, Justice Department attorney Tony Coppolino effectively placed even the latest rules on hold, saying the government would not use them to prosecute cryptographers engaged in legitimate research. "

Another victory for selective prosecution. Not only should every law come with an expiration date, but if it isn't enforced, it should become invalid. They want to keep the law on the books, but they don't want to enforce it. Somewhere between Dumb and Devious.

Man steals ID of sex offender: "A good rule of thumb for an identity thief is not to steal the name of someone whose reputation is worse than yours -- such as a sex offender. "

Of course, if a sex offender has a better reputation than yours...

Scientists say female promiscuity has benefits for blue tits?: "The next big question the researchers hope to answer is whether promiscuity in females has some sort of genetic basis or whether it is related to personality."

All I can say is that it's a good thing, whyever it happens.

Did E-Vote Firm Patch Election?: "Now a former worker in Diebold's Georgia warehouse says the company installed patches on its machines before the state's 2002 gubernatorial election that were never certified by independent testing authorities or cleared with Georgia election officials.

If the charges are true, Diebold could be in violation of federal and state election-certification rules. The charges also raise questions about the integrity of the Georgia election results and any other election that uses patched Diebold systems that have not been re-certified."

There are assertions and denials on both sides, but the contractor's back-pedaling would tend to support the claims. If the wildest speculation is to be believed, we've already seen an election thrown by Diebold. There is no evidence to support that, however -- electronic voting, at least with this system, leaves no paper trail.

Threat of lawsuit passes for student: "SunnComm Technologies, Inc. announced yesterday morning it would sue first-year graduate student John Halderman over his recent critique of the company's new CD copy-protection method, but by the end of the day SunnComm president and CEO Peter Jacobs said he changed his mind."

They're starting to get it. If it won't put the genie back in the bottle, and will only make people hate you, what's the point? They also point out that it was a native Windows feature (disabling autorun by one of several methods, like holding the SHIFT key) that allowed circumvention. When a protection scheme relies on an optional feature like autorun, it's doomed.

Marijuana and Sex: "First of all, we believe that sex and marijuana use exist completely in the private realm of consenting and responsible adults. We realize, unfortunately, that many politicians see the bedroom and other private, individual activities as important areas for government legislation. "

I like it. More, please.

Social ills keep '70s-haters in retro hell: "In the whiplash cycle of pop nostalgia, the era of Day-Glo smiley faces and grimy misery has come back around at least three times already, less than a quarter century after it choked on its last bong hit. We've seen endless retreads of the flared pants leg and the platform shoe, the natural and the Fu Manchu. Punk is well into its third incarnation; hell froze over and the Eagles reunited. Subtlety and grace have been cowering in the corners of commercial culture for years now; garishness clearly grabs all the attention, and sells. "

They may be playing a bit loose with what defined the 70's -- day-glo and smiley faces definitely showed up earlier -- but they're missing the point in other ways, too. In the 70's, the same people who freaked us out in the 60's became the establishment and everything went over the top. Can we expect less of the techno revolutionaries who cashed out before the bubble burst? I hope not.

Suing Your Customers: A Winning Business Strategy?: "But it’s hardly the first time an industry has tried to solve strategic problems using litigation against its customers. And the strategy is no more likely to work today for the recording industry than it did 100 years ago, when the leading automobile manufacturers in 1903 tried to put down the threat of cheap, mass-produced cars by suing consumers who bought Henry Ford’s automobiles. Napster founder Shawn Fanning may have little else in common with Henry Ford, but both men sparked a wave of innovation that transformed their worlds. And both brought down the wrath of incumbent industry associations which tried to stop their new technologies with litigation. The story of Henry Ford’s eight-year legal battle with the “Association of Licensed Automobile Manufacturers” is a cautionary tale for today’s Recording Industry Association of America."

Yep, Henry Ford won, for many of the same reasons the RIAA will eventually lose. Many valid parallels are drawn in this excellent article.

The first case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard Anas platyrhynchos (Aves: Anatidae): "On 5 June 1995 an adult male mallard (Anas platyrhynchos) collided with the glass façade of the Natuurmuseum Rotterdam and died. An other drake mallard raped the corpse almost continuously for 75 minutes. Then the author disturbed the scene and secured the dead duck. Dissection showed that the rape-victim indeed was of the male sex. It is concluded that the mallards were engaged in an ‘Attempted Rape Flight’ that resulted in the first described case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard."

There are pictures. Click through for the full document in pdf form. Aside from the documentation, I'm most surprised that he watched for 75 minutes.

Tower Records vs. IBM: The Death (and Rebirth) of Online Distribution: "Previously, we covered the reasons the music industry is in such dire straits. The music distributors used the contracts with big-name stars to exercise control over the distribution channels. This all changed when Wal-Mart and other big box retailers showed up and turned the tables. They only carry the biggest hits, but not many new acts. So much music is sold through Wal-Mart and its brethren that they are weakening the industry's ability to create new artists.

The most logical answer to this problem is online distribution. This solves both problems Wal-Mart created. The labels would again have the ability to create bottoms-up buzz by having new artists available at the same place you get your top hits. The labels could also take advantage of media buzz by having the record available for sale as soon as you want to buy it - online, there's no chance of your local store not carrying the title.

On top of that, the economics are very good for the labels. One study I did for a major music distributor concluded that when you purchased a CD for $17.99 at Tower Records, the record label only got $3 - $5. Out of that, they paid the artist and their own expenses and profit. Count the additional sales you could get for a lower price, and the label makes more money from an online price of $3.99 than a store price of $17.99. "

This is a different spin on the discussion. The inference is that the record labels are being held hostage by their narrow-minded, high-volume brick-and-mortar resellers. It also hints that there will be a "tipping point" where the labels see online distribution as a bigger piece of the pie than traditional distribution. If the majority of your product is distributed through channels that only stock the hits, you would be less inclined to invest in artist development. Does this account for the decreases in the number of titles released annually?

Police probe alteration to vice-narcotics Web page: "The National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws thought police were turning over a new leaf when it saw the page’s background filled with rows of pot leaves with the letters NORML under each leaf."

Would it be such a bad thing to put NORML in charge of vice and narcotics enforcement? I don't think so.

His dress makes some cross: "Dwight was dressed up to aid a challenge fund-raiser for Pride Zone, a drop-in center for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and straight-allied youth. For a $5 donation, people "bought votes" for their favorite of six different outfits. Dwight's challenge raised $15,000, and he wore the "Femme Fatale Wilma" outfit for the day, starting at noon. As part of the agreement, Dwight paraded down Main Street greeting people. He made such an imposing "femme fatale" that Lyda Lewis, Dwight's wife, was speechless when she first spied him.

"The fact that people are upset about his dressing up speaks to the very issue of intolerance of differences that Pride Zone, and the teen-agers who are part of it, have to deal with, he said. In addition, 'I'd argue that that's the best dressed I've ever been in council chambers,' he said."

They're upset at how he was dressed, not how he conducted himself. "After hearing that 14 signed the petition, Dwight said, 'It's a groundswell.'"

Lesbian fete ordered to admit 'men': "Organisers of an Australian lesbian festival have run into a politically correct storm after being accused of discriminating against transsexuals."

The exemption would have also allowed the group to ban boys over eight and non-lesbian girls over 15.

Obese Americans feed on diet of death: "'Looking at some of the recommendations from the department of agriculture gives the idea that they've forgotten that we're feeding people, not horses,' said Walter Willet, a professor of epidemiology and nutrition at the Harvard School of Public Health.

The obesity epidemic afflicts nearly two out of every three people and has been related to illnesses resulting in the death of one in eight Americans each year, according to the Surgeon General's office. "

Why, yes, I'd like fries with that.

Bond's chief spokesman leaves after Web site flap: "The office of U.S. Sen. Christopher 'Kit' Bond, R-Mo., said Thursday that Bond's chief spokesman, Ernie Blazar, was responsible for setting up the anti-Democrat website named N8354N, the number on the tail of the plane that crashed killing former Gov. Mel Carnahan, his son, Randy, and campaign aid Chris Sifford."

For those who don't get it, Mel Carnahan was the corpse who defeated John Ashcroft in his final Senate bid. Thanks to Google Cache you can still see the N8354N web site, at least until someone wises up and harasses Google to remove it. Check out the linkage on the right. Not just strange -- mean, too...

Man ticketed for warning other drivers of officer: "``It's one thing to warn people of impending danger like an accident or broken-down car ahead. It's another thing to warn people there's a police office ahead who's trying to do his job and catch speeding cars,'' Barnes said. ``I understand the argument that he was helping slow people down. All I can say is, the officer interpreted the gentleman's action as interference with his duties, and the judge agreed.''"

The problem here is that they are misinterpreting the officer's purpose. His purpose is not to catch people speeding, it is to enforce the speed limit. Anything that increases compliance should be looked on as positive, not prosecuted. Whatever gets them to slow down... Unless it was a speed trap set up to enhance revenue, rather than to enforce the law.

Oscar Screeners Scratched: "The screen ban was announced Tuesday, just in time for MPAA President and CEO Jack Valenti to announce it before a Senate committee in Washington, D.C. He cited the move as 'a determined commitment to combat digital piracy and to save movie jobs in the future.' Valenti added that '400,000 to 600,000 films are being illegally abducted every day...and the MPAA intends to deploy every weapon at its command' to stop this theft. "

First, it's nice to see them react with fear to something that's already been shown to be responsible for about 80% of online movie piracy. Second, the quip about '400,000 to 600,000 films' every day is silly. The IMDB, for example, lists only about 200,000 titles. Jack is apparently suggesting that every movie (and TV show) ever made is being pirated 2-3 times daily. Put differently, even if you are conservative, that's 1,200,000 GIGABYTES daily. Unlikely.

JETBLUE PASSENGERS are unhappy about it sharing their personal data: "Wesley Clark is on the board of Acxiom, the company involved, according to this story in the Post. Clark didn't have a specific role with JetBlue, it says, but he was behind the development of the passenger-information database involved.

Does this tell us anything about the privacy policies of a Clark Administration? I don't know. Somebody should probably ask him. "

Of course there will be political fallout. From cryptome.org: "Bear in mind that General Wesley Clark, US presidential contender, is/was a member of the board of Acxiom, giant database producer, which sold far more information to Torch Concepts on citizens of the world than JetBlue provided apparently for no cost. As the Torch study proclaims, it was the Axciom data that was much more useful to spy on citizens than that of JetBlue."

No CAPPS II for JetBlue: "In violation of their own privacy policy, JetBlue gave the travel records of everyone who had flown their airline between 2000 and September of 2002 to defense subcontractor Torch Concepts. Torch then matched the JetBlue records against other databases Social Security numbers, DMV records, property records and other sensitive information in an un-American, CAPPS II-like attempt to predict who was potentially a terrorist.

The results were then presented by Torch at a Homeland Security conference and then posted to the Internet.

JetBlue is now under investigation by the Federal Trade Commission and the Department of Homeland Security; and rumors of a class action lawsuit abound."

Maybe their use of the phrase 'data rape' is a bit strong. Maybe not. What's not made clear is that only one screen of customer data, not all of it, was included in the presentation that was posted on the Internet. It was the presentation, not the database, that was posted. However, data on all 5 million customers was provided to the Transportation Security Administration. I feel safer now.

Ironically, JetBlue has withdrawn from CAPPS II testing over privacy concerns.

The Surprising Benefits of Being Unemployed: "We actually have two refrigerators in our kitchen, a big one and a small one. (The reasons are historical and trivial.) Now we've reached the point where we could easily get by with just the big one. Soon, we'll be able to manage with just the small one. When we reach that point, perhaps we'll sell the big one, assuming anyone would be so foolish as to buy it. (It wasn't a great refrigerator even when it was new.) That will give us extra space in the kitchen, but more to the point, it will make it easier to move to smaller quarters, if it comes to that. Such as under a highway viaduct. Do they have power outlets there? I suppose not. It's not something I used to think about all that often. "

At least he's not bitter...

These men want their foreskins back: "Medically popularized in the early 20th century, circumcision has become a routine option for newborn American boys. But a backlash has surfaced in recent years, often bolstered by conflicting medical data about the procedure’s benefits. Out of that debate has emerged a tiny but growing movement of men who not only oppose circumcision, but want back what they consider taken from them. They want to regrow their foreskin."

Without foreskin, you can't get smegma. Mensa, at least my local chapter, once offered a workshop on "The Restoration and Maintenance of Your Virginity." This seems even sillier. The one hidden gem here appears to be that several of the oft-marketed techniques for penis enlargement (which don't work) DO actually work for other purposes...

Protest the protest of the protest: "The following is an excerpt from a conversation [psychologist Gustave] Gilbert had with [Nazi Hermann] Goering in his cell on the evening of April 18, 1946.

Goering: 'Why, of course, the people don't want war. Why would some poor slob on a farm want to risk his life in a war when the best that he can get out of it is to come back to his farm in one piece? Naturally, the common people don't want war, neither in Russia nor in England nor in America, nor for that matter in Germany. That is understood. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy or a fascist dictatorship or a Parliament or a Communist dictatorship.'

Gilbert : 'There is one difference. In a democracy the people have some say in the matter through their elected representatives, and in the United States only Congress can declare wars.'

Goering: 'Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country.'

Goering's statement should send a chill up your spine. Two phrases in particular merit underscoring: 'tell them they are being attacked,' and 'denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism.'"

America is fighting an open-ended war against an invisible enemy with no clearly defined means of telling if or when we've won. Our leaders repeat "The Big Lie" constantly. Now, I'm not saying our leaders are Nazis. But when it gets this obvious that they're using the same playbook, I worry.

Iraq, 9/11 still linked by Cheney: "THE ALLEGED meeting in Prague between hijacker Mohamed Atta and Iraqi Ahmed Khalil Ibrahim Samir al-Ani was the single thread the administration has pointed to that might tie Iraq to the attacks. But as the Czech government distanced itself from its initial assertion and American investigators determined Atta was probably in the United States at the time of the meeting, other administration officials dropped the incident from their public statements about Iraq.

Not Cheney, who was the administration’s most vociferous advocate for going to war with Iraq. He brought up the connection between Atta and al-Ani again two weeks ago in an appearance on NBC’s “Meet the Press” in which he also suggested links between Iraq and the Sept. 11 attacks.

Cheney described Iraq as “the geographic base of the terrorists who have had us under assault for many years, but most especially on 9/11.” Neither the CIA nor the congressional joint inquiry that investigated the assault on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon found any evidence linking Iraq to the hijackers or the attacks. "

From: The Big Lie is Bush's Most Powerful Weapon: "The propagandists who wield The Big Lie never try to refute the truth. They simply repeat their lies, over and over again, until everyone forgets the truth. The first step to peace is to bring back the truth, to repeat it as often and as loudly as we can.

Truth: This is not a war between good and evil. It is a political struggle between two forces with competing goals. There is no evidence that Al Qaeda wants to impose its way of life on us. They just want us to stop imposing our way of life on them. However, current U.S. political and economic goals require domination of the Muslim world. Bush administration officials have admitted that they have no hope of ending terrorism. But now they have an excuse to put the U.S. military, and U.S. picked leaders, wherever they want them.

FBI bypasses First Amendment to nail a hacker: "The Bureau recently sent letters to a handful of reporters who have written stories about the Lamo case -- whether or not they have actually interviewed Lamo. The letters warn them to expect subpoenas for all documents relating to the hacker, including, apparently, their own notes, e-mails, impressions, interviews with third parties, independent investigations, privileged conversations and communications, off the record statements, and expense and travel reports related to stories about Lamo.

In short, everything.

The notices make no mention of the protections of the First Amendment, Department of Justice regulations that restrict the authority to subpoena information from journalists, or the New York law that creates a 'newsman's shield' against disclosure of certain confidential information by reporters. "

Maybe you missed it, or maybe you were deceived, but you should know that hackers, just like drug dealers, are TERRORISTS!!! and should be exterminated. Except when you need to leak sensitive information for political purposes...

An Oedipal Necrophile: "Anyway, the point is that the defendant is doubtlessly a disturbed individual, and the necrophilia charge seems relatively superfluous in regard to the admitted chain of events. But maybe that doesn't matter, because they'll probably try to blame the whole thing on Marilyn Manson somehow."

There's something Freud should say about my Oedipal complex, but it escapes me. All I have to say is fuck her first -- corpses are inanimate.

Red Lobster Endless Crab Offer Gobbled Up Chain's Profits: "'It was kind of the worst of all worlds,' one senior Darden executive remarked as the casual-dining giant said Red Lobster management had badly miscalculated how many times customers would take the chain at its word and eat all they wanted - at a time when crab costs were going up.

'It wasn't the second helping on all-you-can-eat but the third,' said company chairman Joe R. Lee. 'And maybe the fourth,' added Dick Rivera, company president and chief operating officer, on a conference call after the market Wednesday."

It wasn't like it was cheap, and some restaurants jacked up the price, too. People in the food service industry should be able to project consumption, but don't try and convince an American that they shouldn't eat all they can eat.

UPDATE: Is this why my girlfriend summoned me to a Crabfeast Saturday night? Hmmm... I'll have to get her drunk...

Science weighs in on 5-second rule: "So, the good news: Chances are the floor beneath your fumbled Oreo doesn't contain E. coli. The bad news: If it does, your cookie is contaminated and shouldn't be eaten. "

They mention the low bacterial count on most floors initially foiling the tests, and how they circumvented this by inoculating flooring with E. coli. They also mention how dogs generally beat the 5 second rule, while kids generally don't. Of course, if you've already inoculated your flooring with E. coli, your results may vary. In any event, it appears the time factor is irrelevant.

South Texas ISD board decides against book ban, grants alternative: "Aldous Huxley's Brave New World is a satire about a dystopia where babies are born in laboratories, people pop 'happy pills' like candy and sex is a casual act. 'Huxley's (book) wasn't to promote suicide, drug use or contraceptives,' senior Justin Garcia said in his defense of the books. 'It was a cautionary tale of a sad and lonely future, because a society decided to sacrifice physical uniqueness between people, love between people, to sacrifice great works like Shakespeare that made people passionate about life, because it would be safe.

"But it is through the loves and passions of our lives that individuality and passion are defined. That was the point Huxley was trying to define, not for us to use the book as a manual for contraceptives, or to learn how to escape life by suicide. He proposed a dystopia and it is for us to question it so we do not fall into that mainstream of society."

Some people don't understand that when you take advanced placement courses, you may be encounter material that challenges you. Some people understand that is the point. Some people want their kids to be "special" but don't want them challenged in any way. I think that protecting children from any discussion of these topics constitutes child abuse.

A back door to Poindexter's Orwellian dream : "DARPA's dreaded Total Information Awareness (TIA) program, formerly administered by convicted felon and Republican hero John Poindexter of Iran-Contra fame, may have been de-clawed by Congress, but it lives on at the state level in an incarnation called, ominously, the MATRIX (Multistate Anti-Terrorism Information Exchange).

There's a lot to dislike in this new end-run around Congressional oversight. For one thing there are federal dollars behind it -- four million from the Department of Justice -- which makes it clear that the Feds will be expecting a payoff. "

So the company doing the work is headed by a man implicated in drug smuggling 20 years ago. As El Reg notes, this makes him a perfect fit for Poindexter. He served as an informant and witness in several trials, and was identified by other FDLE informants as someone who provided police protection for smuggling operations.

Crooked cops taking Federal money to circumvent Congressional restrictions. Oh, and Seisint technology has been demonstrated for Vice President Dick Cheney and Gov. Jeb Bush.

Wired News: Garage Doors Raise DMCA Questions: "Skylink Technologies manufactures a universal garage door opener that can be used to open and shut any type of garage door. Its competitor, the Chamberlain Group, claims that Skylink violates the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, or DMCA, by selling such a product. "

Interoperability is now a criminal offense. Lexmark has also used the DMCA to keep a competitor from making toner cartridges that work with Lexmark printers.

Hollywood Faces Online Piracy, but It Looks Like an Inside Job: "But the early debut of 'Hulk' was not the work of the armies of KaZaA-loving college students or cinephile hackers. The copy that made its way to the Internet was an almost-complete working version of the film that had been circulated to an advertising agency as part of the run-up to theatrical release. And 'Hulk' is not alone.

According to a new study published by AT&T Labs, the prime source of unauthorized copies of new movies on file-sharing networks appears to be movie industry insiders, not consumers. The study is 'the first publicly available assessment of the source of leaks of popular movies,' according to its authors.

Nearly 80 percent of some 300 copies of popular movies found by the researchers on online file sharing networks 'appeared to have been leaked by industry insiders,' and nearly all showed up online before their official consumer DVD release date, suggesting that consumer DVD copying represents a relatively minor factor compared with insider leaks."

"Screeners" have always been the best source for pirate videos. Whether it's a pre-release copy for ad agencies, or a free copy sent to woo AMPAS members before Oscar voting, these copies often end up being sold or traded.

Artists blast record companies over lawsuits against downloaders: "'Lawsuits on 12-year-old kids for downloading music, duping a mother into paying a $2,000 settlement for her kid?' said rapper Chuck D of Public Enemy. 'Those scare tactics are pure Gestapo.'

'File sharing is a reality, and it would seem that the labels would do well to learn how to incorporate it into their business models somehow,' said genre-busting DJ Moby in a post on his Web site. 'Record companies suing 12-year-old girls for file sharing is kind of like horse-and-buggy operators suing Henry Ford.'"

Fixing this problem will require that the record companies wake up and remember what business they're really in, and get back to producing, manufacturing, and distributing an entertainment product in a form that the consumers want to buy.

Of course, it also means delivering quality product in quantity, both of which have been problems for the recording industry for years. When you release 25% fewer titles than the previous year, and your revenues drop 15%, it's hard to blame file sharing for your problems.

Get rid of the suits who think that selling more of less for more is what the music industry ought to be about.

New Terror Laws Used Vs. Common Criminals: "Federal prosecutors used the act in June to file a charge of 'terrorism using a weapon of mass destruction' against a California man after a pipe bomb exploded in his lap, wounding him as he sat in his car.

A North Carolina county prosecutor charged a man accused of running a methamphetamine lab with breaking a new state law barring the manufacture of chemical weapons. If convicted, Martin Dwayne Miller could get 12 years to life in prison for a crime that usually brings about six months. "

First, roll back legislative protections enacted after prior incidents of law enforcement abuse. Second, create a vague and nebulous category of "terrorism" and *POOF* everyone becomes a terrorist! Good morning, I am an evildoer.

High-Tech Heroin: "The Information Age will not be remembered by the fun, high-flying and overwhelmingly feel-good Dot Com days despite the ongoing presence of Dot Com-developed technologies. Rather, the Information Age will be remembered as a period when 12-year old girls from New York slums, senior citizens, and innovative college students are harrassed by greedy cartels seeking to scare their future customers into submission; when the profit goals of high-tech vendors determine how client businesses and people are organized and interact; when everyone is presumed a potential criminal until proven otherwise according to oppressive industry-defined criteria; when a once-awesome revolution in global communications became converted into a cesspool of unsolicited and offensive marketing messages; when knowing how to do something that's illegal is just as illegal as actually doing something that's illegal; when the legal protections over freedom of speech are trumped to preserve corporate secrets or market share while hiding vulnerabilities that endanger the public; when our lives are monitored and dissected by marketing firms looking for the best way to sell us things we don't need or want; and when technology's promise and alluring capabilities are used to surreptitiously entrap and willingly imprison members of the information-age society instead of truly empowering them. "

Fresh from the department of run-on-but-relevant sentences comes a paean to Dostoevsky.

Should Net surfers be licensed?: "So why not institute mandatory education before people can go online? After all, motorists must obtain licenses before they can legally hit the road, and computers are much more complicated."

Second entry in the "stupidest thing I've seen today" category. I saw this one first, but Creation Science is stupider. Besides, they recognize this one themselves -- the online poll lets you choose between "good idea, great idea, and stupidest thing I've ever heard" -- stupid is currently leading with 85%.

Creation Science Fair 2001: "Jonathan Goode (grade 7) applied findings from many fields of science to support his conclusion that God designed women for homemaking: physics shows that women have a lower center of gravity than men, making them more suited to carrying groceries and laundry baskets; biology shows that women were designed to carry un-born babies in their wombs and to feed born babies milk, making them the natural choice for child rearing; social sciences show that the wages for women workers are lower than for normal workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay; and exegetics shows that God created Eve as a companion for Adam, not as a co-worker."

First entry in the "stupidest thing I've seen today" category.

Zevon Found Humor, Song In Everything: "In November, I had dinner with him in Beverly Hills. We talked about dying, but we laughed a lot more than we cried. At one point, I asked him if he ever hoped for a miracle, hoped that he'd wake up one morning cured. I don't recall the exact wording of his answer, but the essence of it was that he'd feel as if he was letting everybody down. He laughed after he said this, but I don't know that he was entirely kidding."

Finally, someone with both a personal friendship and a sense of humor weighs in. Now if someone can send me a real translation of the Russian verse in Turbulence from Transverse City...

Hopping mad fans get to 'Jump Around' at game: "Concerns about the effects of jumping on stadium construction caused Athletic Director Pat Richter to make a last-minute decision not to play the song, Wiley said, and he isn't second-guessing that.

But a structural safety review this week by architects and engineers confirmed Camp Randall is stable despite the noticeable swaying of the upper deck that makes some fans uneasy, Wiley said. "

I remember the Comet at Hershey Park. After years of skimping on maintenance, the upper track would drift noticeably when the coaster went 'round. When they finally rebuilt it, they modified it to retain the drift. The upper deck at RKF stadium in DC also moves noticeably when everyone jumps around. Drift is sometimes a good thing, or at least entertaining.

New York, new hedonists: "Pepper Schwartz, professor of sociology at the University of Washington and author of Everything You Know About Love and Sex Is Wrong , says that sex is a natural, physiological response to catastrophe. 'There really is a third 'F' to the 'Fight or Flight' theory that no one mentions,' she says. 'In times of upheaval and terror, people look for confirmation of life, and there's no more obvious antidote to death than sex. It's a way of saying: 'I'm functioning, I'm alive and I'm not alone.'' "

Flash back a year, and then consider the trend. Is this traumatic reaction to terrorist attack, or a natural side effect of 'guns and butter'? Guns and bugger? I hope so...

MS' Linux obsession - time to call in the shrinks: "This week's 'Windows is cheaper than Linux' story comes to us courtesy of Giga Research, which with the aid of Microsoft funding has produced a study indicating that it is cheaper to create a portal using Windows and Microsoft development tools than using Linux and Java 2 Enterprise Edition (J2EE) tools. The study is apparently to be used by Microsoft's new kinder, gentler and more fact-based GM for platform strategy Martin Taylor in his campaign to convince customers that nine out of ten cats who expressed a preference reckoned that Linux is pooh. And in this campaign, he has the best facts money can buy. "

As El Reg says in their tease: "If you need to keep proving yourself, people wonder about the size of your..." Yes, if you're operating in a licensed Windows environment, if you own and are familiar with Microsoft development tools, and you know nothing about Linux or Java, it's cheaper to develop for Windows. Who knew?

Warren Zevon: Lessons in leaving: "Zevon, who titled one best-of compilation 'I'll Sleep When I'm Dead' and put a picture of a skeleton smoking a pipe on another, talks on VH1 about how he's always been interested in writing about death and dying. Circumstances gave him a perspective few, if any, active artists have shared.

"I'm looking for a woman with low self-esteem," he sings, "to lay me out and ease my worried mind, while I'm winding down my dirty life and times."

Lawyers, guns, and money won't help him now, he's dead. The obits are way too reverent, maybe the appreciations that come later will have the guts to be funny. As Warren himself said, 'enjoy every sandwich'.

How to destroy your computer!: "This article will explain to you, the user, the most common ways by which you can cause your computer to cease to function. Follow the instructions carefully and you will shortly find yourself making appropriate contributions to the all-important service sector.

First, it is essential to be incorrectly prepared."

Soundless Music Shown to Produce Weird Sensations : "'Some scientists have suggested that this level of sound may be present at some allegedly haunted sites and so cause people to have odd sensations that they attribute to a ghost -- our findings support these ideas,' said Professor Richard Wiseman, a psychologist at the University of Hertfordshire in southern England."

Don't call GhostBusters, just install a low pass filter! Now I know why my subwoofer scares people! They're good at explaining the phenomenon, but poor at explaining why it might appear around haunted houses.

Dance topless and get yourself a hubby
: "Lined up in rows, the maidens danced topless before the king for three hours, undeterred by blustery winds or last year's controversy surrounding Mswati's choice of three teenage reed dancers as his latest queens.

'I am tired of being poor. I want to be a queen. I hope the king sees me,' said 17-year-old Nomsa Gama, wearing the traditional dance costume of a small piece of beaded fabric around her waist."

With choregraphy, too. I wanna be king. Of course, like Martin Mull, I also wanna be god.

N. Korean cheerleaders a hit in South: "The 300 statuesque beauties of the North Korean cheerleading squad bounded up the stairs of a soccer stadium here, prompting ecstatic applause from the South Korean crowd. Wearing outfits that were part Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, part Red Army, the women, who were handpicked and rigorously trained under the auspices of the North Korean government, strode to their places and flashed matching smiles."

Don't get your hopes up, the article goes more political than cheescake.

Will Bush Backers Manipulate Votes to Deliver GW Another Election?: "Harris managed to obtain the source code that is used in Diebold's electronic voting system simply by searching the Internet.

Harris told Democracy Now! that she recently uncovered another file on the Diebold site that she says "may very well be the smoking gun that brings this thing down."

"It is impossible for this file to have existed if there wasn't some sort of illicit electronic communication going on for remote access," Harris said.

"It's against the law to start counting the votes before the polls have closed. But this file is date and time stamped at 3:31 in the afternoon on Election Day, and somehow all 57 precincts managed to call home add them themselves up in the middle of the day. Not only once but three times," Harris said. Technically, under the Diebold system that means it is possible for someone who has access to the system to monitor the progress of the voting results throughout the day and to potentially manipulate them. "

Back into the spin zone somewhat, but the technical details make it pretty clear that this is not a system to be trusted. Between insecure wireless links, violations of law in practice, and obvious susceptibility to fraud -- this isn't how I want my votes counted.

What can happen if America fails to invest in its infrastructure?
Anything.: "The condition of our nation's roads, bridges, drinking water systems and other public works have shown little improvement since they were graded an overall D+ in 2001, with some areas sliding toward failing grades. ASCE's 2003 Progress Report for America's Infrastructure examines trends affecting the 12 categories evaluated in the 2001 Report Card for America's Infrastructure -- and the findings are not good. "

Who says so? The American Society of Civil Engineers. Example: investments in power transmission capacity dropped below $2B last year, as compared to $5B in 1975. No, those numbers are NOT adjusted for inflation.

Shock rocker barely makes stir in St. Paul court: "Though Manson's act has been described in Rolling Stone magazine as creating 'a powerful concoction of Satanic imagery, face-splitting guitars and performance spectacle that has drawn the ire of countless keepers of the public good,' prospective jurors saw only the Brian Warner who quietly drank a Coke in the hallway during a break. The Brian Warner who, cutting a surprisingly tall, thin figure, stood and offered a polite 'hi' when Frank introduced him and the other parties in the lawsuit to prospective jurors.

"None of the 18 prospective jurors first questioned registered a visible reaction when Frank revealed Warner's stage identity. All said they would not hold his controversial stage character or outlandish appearance against him."

Oddly, whether on Politically Incorrect (RIP) or in Bowling for Columbine, Manson often ends up being the voice of reason. Just because Marilyn gets all the press doesn't mean Brian is any less packaged a product, just a more insightful one much of the time.

A Truck Accessory, Bulls Balls, Bumper balls, Cohones, Monster Trucks: "What is the ultimate accessory to any truck, car, motorcycle or buggy? BUMPER NUTS!! Just look how a set of Bumper Nuts turn this ordinary Subaru into an awesome driving machine. Nothing shows that you got a pair like hanging some nuts from your bumper! "

Notice they've censored all the license plates in their pics. Notice they cost $25 per pair. Don't forget the kids!

Failure Is Always an Option: "If engineers are pessimists, managers are optimists about technology. Successful, albeit flawed missions indicated to them not a weak but a robust machine. When engineers and managers clashed over the 1986 Challenger launch, the managers pulled rank. In the case of Columbia, engineers who worried about damage that the spacecraft may have suffered during launch were ineffective in getting it properly inspected before reentry."

Management should focus on leadership, scheduling, and resources -- not on overruling engineers, technicians, and scientists who express doubts. That said, manned space flight is an inherently risky business, and everyone who climbed aboard knew and accepted the risks gladly.

sitDiary // jwag's thingee: "Jeeeesus fucking Christ! Gluttony is a Sin last I checked. Man I swear if a cow had triplets they all died for your fatass. Oh and I'm fat make no mistake but I don't make a spectacle out of myself in public. Like a fucking tourist attraction from Ripley's Believe it or not. I'm sure a lot of Ethyopian children would wat to get Hannibal Lecter on your ass. I think to myself that 1.He's with noone 2. He's prolly done this before"

I didn't know that In-N-Out Burger offered a build-your-own special. The guy's nothing special, but the 16-patty (with cheese) stack is impressive.

Ireland mulls ‘fat tax’ to curb obesity: "FACED WITH AN epidemic of expanding waistlines as the Irish enjoy unprecedented prosperity, Health Minister Micheal Martin confirmed he was “very tentatively” examining slapping a levy on high-fat comestibles."

Yes, I'd like fries with that.

Leaders were trying to heal boy, pastor says: "The Hemphills said they talked to the four people who had been at the service: Ray Hemphill, Patricia Cooper and two women they would not name. Pamela Hemphill said Ray Hemphill led the service and directed the women to restrain the boy. The women put some sheets and cloth over the boy's outstretched hands, and 'one lady held one hand and the other lady held the other, and his mother held his feet,' Pamela Hemphill said."

They held a church service and FOUR PEOPLE came? Sounds like the full extent of the service was the pastor's brother and three women getting together to tie up a young boy.

Bored teens with cash a drug risk?: "Boredom and a wad of cash can lead young Americans to substance abuse, according to a Columbia University survey released Tuesday."

Brain dead, and made of money. No future at all. -- Phish '86
Spent my cash on every high I could find -- Tubes '75

Who had the nerve to call this news?

siamang: Sad Times, and Rainbow Bridges: "I don't like the traditional methods of dealing with a deceased pet. Cremation seems so inhumane. I mean, burning your pet's body? I think that's kind of medieval and causes a lot of pollution. Burial is better but it felt like I was just throwing her away to rot if I did that. So I thought about the story of the rabbit jumping into the fire and realized that Grendel would have wanted to give me every last little bit of joy possible, and I should do something truly personal with her body. I decided to make a fancy dinner with her. "

This one screams out "troll" but you never know...

Reason: The Anti-Pleasure Principle: The "food police" and the pseudoscience of self-denial: "The charge that CSPI is puritanical has been heard before, of course, especially in connection with the group’s highly publicized hit-and-run reports on restaurant food, which earned it a reputation as 'the food police.' But if CSPI were nothing but a bunch of pleasure-hating sourpusses, it would be hard to understand the organization’s success in generating press coverage and attracting supporters."

Self-denial is virtuous. Flavor is meaningless. Moderation is misguided.

IT Press Archive

Much news and reviews of Phish's IT festival at the former Loring Air Force Base in Limestone, ME. No direct mentions of the black helicopters, but much interesting information.

AAA billboards warn of 'speed traps': "WALDO - The feud over speeding tickets between the AAA Auto Club and Police Chief A.W. Smith has reached new heights with the placement of billboards warning motorists of traffic enforcement in Waldo and Lawtey.

Two full-size billboards were installed last week on U.S. 301 at Hampton. Both are black and yellow with big block lettering. Both have the words 'Speed Trap' in a caution sign."

This is possibly the most egregious speed trap in the country. Several years ago, I got a $350, 3-point ticket for going 28 mph in a 35 mph zone. Despite school being out for the summer, and the campus being vacant, they had turned on one set of "school zone" lights, selectively reducing the speed limit on US 301 to 10 mph. They were only ticketing non-local drivers.

Kill a Middle East head of state, win prizes!: "Senators Ron Wyden of Oregon and Byron Dorgan of North Dakota don't think so. 'Spending taxpayer dollars to create terrorism betting parlors is as wasteful as it is repugnant,' they announced at a press conference yesterday. Dorgan called it 'the most Byzantine thing I have ever seen proposed by a federal agency.'' Aiding the Terror Game, we learn, is the research unit of the right-wing Economist magazine - which has never knowingly undersold a market - and Net Exchange, which boasts that its Pentagon pork is 'leveraged for the next generation of Deal Optimization Solutions.' "

Wait a minute -- didn't we just invade Byzantium? Oh, no, that's Constantinople, maybe we missed the mark...

Computer Voting Is Open to Easy Fraud, Experts Say: "The list of flaws in the Diebold software is long, according to the paper, which is online at avirubin.com/vote.pdf. Among other things, the researchers said, ballots could be altered by anyone with access to a machine, so that a voter might think he is casting a ballot for one candidate while the vote is recorded for an opponent."

This time, without spin or an axe to grind -- NYT goes out of their way to give benefit of the doubt. Read the paper

Metro libraries weigh fed cash or Web filters - 07/18/03: "'Let's let the federal money go,' Pat Thomas, director of the Plymouth District Library, firmly told board members Tuesday. Plymouth receives $4,200 annually in Internet money from federal sources, a modest amount given the total library budget of $3.4 million. "

Battle-Scarred Author Takes On Web Pirates"Because it's gotten to the powerful Ninth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, the suit could amount to more than the latest spat involving a longtime Hollywood gadfly. Major software firms filed a brief backing Mr. Ellison, and four of the five big record labels -- all except AOL Time Warner's Warner Music Group -- together sent a pair of attorneys to help the author's lawyer argue his appeal. A group of Internet and technology companies, along with AT&T Corp., weighed in on the other side."

Congressman pocketed $18,000 for RIAA 'lobbying trip': "Boycott-RIAA and the Webcaster Alliance have produced an electronic form and urge music lovers to fax their Congressional representative so that an investigation can begin. You can find it here.

Getting Ryan's number: ""I answer: 'Cash, small unmarked bills only in a paper bag, how can I help you?'" Ross says. 'As a general rule, it results in immediate hang-ups.'"

They don't say whether he's caught anyone, or taken any money...

Man's signature offends DMV: "Weinstein said a window clerk told him to 'stop fooling around and sign it right.' When he insisted that what he wrote was his valid, legal signature, Weinstein said the clerk accused him of being a troublemaker and threw him out. "

Maybe he should try wearing a veil...

Prayer ‘offensive’ against court: "Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson urged his nationwide audience Monday to pray for God to remove three justices from the Supreme Court so they could be replaced by conservatives."

Robertson said in a letter on the CBN Web site that the ruling “has opened the door to homosexual marriage, bigamy, legalized prostitution and even incest.”

As they should have.

Sheriff's deputy accused of sex shakedown at forest preserve: "Baffield allegedly jotted down their names, addresses and phone numbers in a notebook and wrote 'homo'' next to the information. He told them he would be contacting them and let them go, prosecutors said."

Police also found less than 30 grams of marijuana in his DEA vehicle, but Baffield claimed it was evidence acquired six to eight months earlier that he had forgotten about.

Dean gets help from D.C. insiders: "One lesson of the 2002 elections was that Democratic candidates who voted with Bush on tax cuts and the Iraq war lost anyway. "

Marriage may tame genius: "Creative genius and crime express themselves early in men but both are turned off almost like a tap if a man gets married and has children, a study says. "

Dare I say, "I Don't"? No, I didn't think so...

Jerry Springer files for U.S. Senate race: "The infomercial, paid for by Springer, is part biography and part fund-raiser. It explains how Springer’s parents fled Nazi Germany for England, then moved to the United States just before Springer’s fifth birthday. The ad seeks small donations and offers T-shirts, bumper stickers and CDs of Springer singing “rockabilly” music."

There's a Jesse Ventura joke in here somewhere -- left to the reader as an exercise.

Iraq: the view from the ground: "With Microsoft often considered to be in bed with the US government and military, Yahoo rather than Hotmail it seems is the email system of choice for freed citizens. "

Net Radio Group Threatens to Sue RIAA: "Small Internet radio stations, angered over what they say is the recording industry's effort to wield royalty rates as a weapon to drive them out of business, say they are preparing to file an antitrust suit against the Recording Industry Association of America."

At issue is which group speaks for small commercial webcasters. Also, whether minor players are entitled to equal access and treatment, despite their preference for more independent fare.

Charlie's Angels Full Throttle Greens/Blues Stripes Girls Briefs: "Girls briefs with vertical stripes in various shades of green and blue. Front of briefs features a white cartoon silhouette of the Angels and the word 'Superstar'. Back of briefs feature the Charlie's Angels logo."

Pretty much screams out "chick flick," doesn't it?

Cannot find Weapons of Mass Destruction: "The weapons you are looking for are currently unavailable. The country might be experiencing technical difficulties, or you may need to adjust your weapons inspectors mandate."

This is not your father's 404 error...

Scoop: Sludge Report #154 – Bigger Than Watergate!: "Bigger Than Watergate! - How To Rig An Election In The United States - Fantasy vs Reality - How We Discovered The Backdoor - Evidence Of Motive - Evidence Of Opportunity - Evidence Of Method - Evidence Of Prior Conduct - Consistent Unexplained Circumstantial Evidence"

More of the same material, but with a large dose of political speculation.

Scoop: Inside A U.S. Election Vote Counting Program: "
Part 1 - CAN THE VOTES BE CHANGED?
Part 2 - CAN THE PASSWORD BE BYPASSED?
Part 3 – CAN THE AUDIT TRAIL BE ALTERED?"

Would you believe the answer to all parts is YES?

Real men don�t take gay style advice?: "In �Queer Eye,� gay and straight men forge a new kind of brotherhood, one cemented by properly applied hair gel."

Dissertation Could Be Security Threat (TechNews.com): "For academics, there always has been the imperative to publish or perish. In Gorman's case, there's a new concern: publish and perish. "

The Lure of Data: Is It Addictive?: "'It's like a dopamine squirt to be connected,' said Dr. Ratey, who compares the sensations created by constantly being wired to those of narcotics — a hit of pleasure, stimulation and escape. 'It takes the same pathway as our drugs of abuse and pleasure.' "

::: NaDa :::: "NaDa™ will make you feel good. It is as light and as deep as a simple thought."

Beer For The Homeless: "There are plenty of organizations that will provide food, clothing, education, even shelter to the homeless. But every one of them refuses to treat their 'clients' as mature adults and the vast majority of them even have rules that forbid the legal consumption of alcohol. "